Re: commuter marriage stories?

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I just started a commuter marriage after 17 years of marriage and starting med school a year and a half ago. For me, having him away is a relief. We’re going through a lot, going through counseling, and this is after his long history of ADD was finally diag’d this past fall. [One of the characteristics of adult ADD is that the person can’t always see there’s something wrong or that their behaviour impacts others negatively (i.e. denial)]. Believe me, untreated ADD has not been good for either of us! Even with the house, two adolescent children and the dog, it’s easier to have him gone 10 days at a time and see him every other weekend. I see us as separate and unweaving our marriage, but that’s probably overdue, so his new work schedule gives us an unofficial trial separation. I’m not doing anything official until I see how the finances settle.

Your mileage may vary… there are plenty of couples who do the long-distance marriage. If your marriage is solid now and both of you are good at communicating everyday paractical things and emotions, you’ll probably be fine. Good luck!