I dont know if I read correctly but I dont quite get what the other mother meant by her comment to you. Im thinking maybe she could have meant having her child babysat by someone else when she is gone away from her child/children more than she wants to be already? I dunno.
The reality is, that to many other moms who havent pursued this path are very judgemental to other moms pursuing medicine already. It suprises me then that she as a medical mom would imply what she did to another.
It seems to me your trying to make things work for everyone is trying to put your family first because you obviously were thinking about your husband and his feelings.
If what I had mentioned previously what this woman could be thinking is true, then just because she chooses to be at home with the kids and attempt to study on the weekend and you need a quieter environment to study in full capacity doesnt mean you arent putting your family first. Every mom has their own way of trying to balance a full plate to ensure success in her multiple roles.
I believe putting family first cannot be generally defined. It is unique to everyone’s own situation.
I also believe this woman was rude.