Re: married momof3 medschool2004

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Well, I’ve started my 2nd semester of med school!

We’re doing Immunology, Head & Neck Anatomy, Pharmacology, & Pathology. 😮 Having seen the syllabus for Immunology, I’m more than a little intimidated. But, I suppose it’s just like every other block we’ve had so far. I’ll find a way to do it.

The visit with my family over the holidays was unusually stressful. Lots of tension. My brother and his wife feeling bad becuase they have had to borrow money from all of us while my brother was unemployed this Fall. It doesn’t bother me, I know how tough things have been for them, but I guess they are pretty embarrassed to be in that spot.

My mom is dealing with my grandmother’s Alzheimer’s. It’s a mean, mean disease. To have my grandmother, the only grandparent I have ever known (others all died young), not recognize my husband or remember exactly who I am is so heartbreaking. I can’t imagine how hard it is for my mom to not have her mother anymore. I mean, my grandmother is there in body, but she’s no longer capable of carrying a long conversation, much less acting the part of a parent to my mom. The fact that her mother suffered from the same disease makes me fearful for my own mom.

Since med school, I’ve become a bit more fearful of the future health of my loved ones in general. I find myself fearing cancer and heart disease in a way I never did before. I’ve been fortunate in that I have both my parents and the loss of my grandparents occurred before I was even born. So both my parents lost a parent when they were kids. 🙁 I have yet to lose anyone close to me. I count myself lucky on the one hand, but know that it waits around the corner at the same time. Spending all day reading about medicine and illness makes that more of a reality. Life seems to fragile and unlikely sometimes…

But then, I look around me and I see my classmates and my husband and my kids and know that I’ve just got to be grateful for all that I have. (Med school can make you morbid sometimes!)

My husband has begun his new job in town. I’m not at all used to thinking of him as being here every evening. I still find myself thinking about “when he goes out of town next week…” LOL

Time to take my sniffley nose back to the books. I plan to do something other than just tread water this block! (big dreams indeed! 😉 )