am i doing the right thing?

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  • #76947
    rockfeverrockfever
    Participant

    I want another baby so badly. i just finished my first semester of med school and missed the window for having a baby next summer as we were all still adjusting to med school and not even thinking about getting pregnant. then my husband and i were like let’s just do it. let’s aim for a christmas 2004 baby and we’ll arrange school around it ( somehow). so i went off of bc and all meds and starting charting my temps to make sure i was ovulating, etc. then after exams we had a honeymoon of sorts and since we didn’t use any bc i thought about the possibility that we migth be pregnant. at first i freaked out because the baby would be due in september but then i came up with a plan and actually became happy with the idea. i decided that i would try to do second year in 2 years. not ideal because of loans and such but it would work. anyway i found out today that i am not pregnant and feel very sad. my husband and i had decided that if i am not pregnant now we would wait until the end of 3rd year/ 4th year. i knw that is a better plan rationally but i really want another one. i guess it is best just to suck it up and get through these years and get pregnant at a better time, huh? if this baby hankering gets stronger i will consider taking a year off but i am 31 and just want to get through med school.
    any advice would be appreciated.

    #76948
    MTaylorMTaylor
    Participant

    I think that med school is a wonderful time to have a baby. You’re right, if not now, when?

    If you get pregnant now (soon)…baby due next fall…that’s great. You don’t (necessarily) have to do 2nd year in parts, even. And by the time you start residency, you’ll be

    1) done having babies (maybe)

    2) not worried about the biological clock as much

    3) the baby will be ready for preschool when you start residency

    4) you would have had 2+ years home with the baby (essentially) as you study and do rotations.

    I have a friend who had *two* babies in med school…and did just fine. I have another friend who had her first as a 3rd year student…and graduated valedictorian!!

    I would go ahead and keep trying!! No time is perfect, and this time is as good as any…and better than some. Contrary to what you may think, 4th year isn’t necessarily the best (i.e. easiest time) to have a baby. Actually…I would have to say the end of second year is probably the best time…or at the beginning of 4th (i.e. summer, before residency interviews in the fall). First year is only difficult because school, itself, is such an adjustment. Second year is lots of work, but the end of second year/beginning of third is great. But keep in mind…it may take 6 months to a year to get pregnant…espcially as we get older. So…I’d probably keep on trying.

    #76949
    wannaBmdwannaBmd
    Participant

    rockfever,

    I can’t help you as far as planning around med school, but I definately understand the baby hankerin’. I lost a baby about a year and a half ago at 18weeks. Due to complications, I was told by some of my doctors not to have any more children, and others said it was ok. So after 6mo I got pregnant and miscarried. I wanted another child so bad, but I guess now is just not the right time. So now I’m persueing my dream of being a doctor. I would still like more, but I guess I might have to adopt to get them. Untill then, all of my infant nephews and nieces get loved to pieces. :goodvibes:
    —–Diana

    #76951
    EM momEM mom
    Participant

    Coming from someone who had a baby in residency-I say do it NOW! Although never easy, I think med school is the ideal time to do it (well, as ideal a time as there will ever be) but keep in mind you probably don’t want to interview pregnant if you can help it. My best friend had her baby at the beginning of third year and it worked out great. She got to actually spend some time with the baby and the baby was well-adjusted to daycare by the time her mom started the rigors of residency. There is no “right time” to have kids when you are aching to be a doctor, but 2nd-3rd year of med school are certainly not bad times and none of us are getting any younger! Good luck to you!

    #76952
    rockfeverrockfever
    Participant

    thank you all for you advice. but there is something else. It took me 2 years to get pregnant with my son. becuase i charted this cycle, i see what the problem is- low progesterone levels. I remembered that i had progesterone suppositories with my son. so now i am wondering if i should go through all of that while in school?
    anyway i am going to show your reponses to my husband to see what he thinks.
    Thanks!

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