Attractive Patient

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  • #37918
    DONOTDELETE ****DONOTDELETE**
    Participant

    I am only posting this because it’s anonymous, it would be mortifying to be discovered by any of my colleagues for even posing this question. But here goes…

    I have a patient new to my practice who is, in a word, hot. Single, personable, easy on the eyes. He has had some recent lab abnormalities, the etiology of which I have been searching for, which has meant a few follow up visits. I think he is attracted to me too. When I called him regarding the results of a lab test and we chatted briefly, he actually invited me to call him anytime “just to talk”.

    Now I KNOW the rules, no doctor-patient relationship of a romantic sort, and I don’t want one. I am considering transfering his care to one of my partners. There has been nothing inappropriate said or done by either of us, and I know I have the intestinal fortitude (not to mention responsibility) to make sure it remains a professional relationship. But this attraction scares me.

    Has any other physician had an experience like this?

    #37919
    DONOTDELETE ****DONOTDELETE**
    Participant

    I must add that I have had an experience like this. I’m married and ended up making up these elaborate fantasies about how I could meet him at the mall or market etc. It got to the point that I was driving myself crazy. What saved me? He never came back to see me. Within a month I’d forgotten all about him. If this is a patient that will come in frequently I would let a colleague see them, otherwise enjoy the few times he comes in to see you. Hope that helps…

    this is the first time I’ve ever discussed this, brings back some memories and makes me :blush:

    #37920
    docnrolldocnroll
    Participant

    Yes I have had sort of the same experience…. end the doctor patient relationship if you are interested and then pursue normally…. but don’t do it at the same time…. is he single, your single?

    #37921
    DONOTDELETE ****DONOTDELETE**
    Participant

    Eh, well, no. He’s single, I’m married. I am also interested in staying married. How did I get this far without ever having been attracted to a patient before? Am I dead? :confused:

    #37922
    DONOTDELETE ****DONOTDELETE**
    Participant

    sorry I read your post too quickly. I would end the doctor-patient relationship…. can’t help more than that at this stage.

    #37923
    DONOTDELETE ****DONOTDELETE**
    Participant

    Have you had attractions like this before? Is your partner lacking in any way right now? Is the attention a surprise to you? Depending on your level of attraction I think this is a crush, that can remain harmless. I don’t mean to be blunt but if you play with fire someone gets burned. If you are married and want to stay married… I would definitely not indulge this any further. If your marriage does have some underlying strains I would consider seeking counselling if not for both of you, then just yourself. I speak from experience as I developed many crushes in my first marriage, which ended in divorce. For me the crushes were a sign that I didn’t recognise. Now I’m happily married again and I haven’t had any kind of attraction to anyone else in five years.

    #37924
    DONOTDELETE ****DONOTDELETE**
    Participant

    To answer your questions, in order, NO, YES and YES. I am not interested in pursuing this patient though. I know what is at stake, and temptation is not something to fool around with. I plan to keep the relationship on a professional level only. I was just interested to know if other female physicians have found themselves attracted to patients, and if so, what they did about it. It’s nice to have a day to look forward to when I know he’s coming in. But I would never call him socially. As a matter of fact, I think I’m going to have my nurse call him about everything from now on.

    Has anyone ended a doctor-patient relationship in order to pursue a romantic relationship with a patient?

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