Can I be the mom I want to be as a doctor?

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  • #17333
    CourtneyCourtney
    Participant

    I am a 20 year old undergrad and I want to go into the medical profession. BUT I would like to have my kids before I am thirty and stay home with them for most(if not all) of their upbringing. I am not 100% set on being a doctor, so if I go into another field for the sake of having my family the way I want it I wouldn’t feel I had abandoned my dream. I am seeking advice on whether I should continue my premed studies or get on course now for a different profession. For me, family(especially my children) is just as important as career. I would greatly appreciate advice from the women and mothers who have been their and who could guide me to the best way to my personal and professional goals. Thank you.

    #17334
    efex101efex101
    Participant

    Here is my 0.2, I am very glad that I waited until my late thirties to apply to medical school. I was able to stay at home full time with my youngest son, I was in the Army with my oldest and it was extremely difficult to get up at 5:00 in the morning wake her up and take her to the sitter. By the time I came back home around 6:00 pm it was almost bedtime for her and me. I got out of the Army when my oldest was three and became a SHAM, very happy I did this. I stayed home until both my kiddies went to school and then I went back to school to get my u-grad. I will be applying to med school next year at the ripe age of 37 and do not regret it. Yes, I could be done with med school/residency/established now, but I know that I would have missed out in some growing up of my children. Yes, it can be done (working crazy hours and having a family) but let us not kid ourselves it is not the same as being able to stay home with them without having to worry about daycare, sitters, deadlines, etc. As a physician the hours are not normal (some docs work 60-80 hrs per week) unless you share a residency/job but still there will be call days. So if I had to do it all over again I would do it the same way. I enjoyed breast feeding them whenever/wherever, being able to sleep in with them, not having to ask to stay home when and if they were sick, you get the picture. So this is just my story and by all means I am sure that others will give different yet valid points of view.

    #17335
    CourtneyCourtney
    Participant

    Thank you, efex101. I appreciate the reply and hope to read a few more in the next few days.

    #17336
    MelissaGrayMelissaGray
    Participant

    I’ve gotta go along with efex!

    I also wanted medicine & a kid, but I wanted the kid more. I had my daughter and stayed home with her until 2nd grade & I wouldn’t have traded that for anything!!! I was willing to give up my idea of med school if it were to interfere with my daughter’s life too much, but my husband & I decided that it was feasible. Now I’m a 1st year med student with a lot of family support. So far I’ve been able to balance the family & med school decently.

    I truly believe that being a mom has made me a better med student: I’m more mature, have better time management skills, am more motivated, & have a better support system than I would have had at 22. It is good to have had some “real world” between college and med school. In fact, one of my professors said that in his experience the med students that make the best physicians are women in their thirties with 2 kids…they’ve had to deal with more than the average med student.

    #17337
    CourtneyCourtney
    Participant

    Thanks, Melissa. That was my feeling, to have my kids then go to med school after they start school. My boyfriend(who will definately be my husband someday) is completely supportive of whatever decision I make. He mentioned to me the other day that it would be great to stay at home with the kids and be a med student/doctor–what could be better than the best of both worlds? I am so grateful to all of you who have replied/will reply. Thanks!!

    #17338
    DONOTDELETE ****DONOTDELETE**
    Participant

    Hi!
    I understand your worries, but you are still young! I was exactly in the same boat as you – wasn’t sure of going to med. school because of marriage, children, etc., but I ended up going nevertheless. I’m a second year now, and I must admit that I almost dropped out of med school last year, again, because of worrying about the future (when am I going to have kids/residency/working/debts) but have decided to stick with it. FYI- I’m married, in my early 20’s, with no kids. Understanding the realities and repercussions of going to med school (especially in how they will coincide with children and staying at home with them, which is extremetly important for me) is very important. However, DON’T let worries get in the way of your dreams! Things will work out. I, being a more anal type person, tend to over-worry a lot, but now, I am SO GLAD I decided to stick it out. I feel so fortunate to be able to learn all the things that I do. Even though I know that I definitely will NOT be working part time, I am so glad I saw this through, because even though being a mom is important, I know for myself that I accomplished something that was always a dream for me. And I think once I’m in my 40’s-50’s, that will make a big difference. No matter what happens, I know that I will never regret going to medical school (and believe me, I was never confident about going). Anyway, that’s just my own story. Good luck with yours!

    #17339
    DONOTDELETE ****DONOTDELETE**
    Participant

    Sorry – above, I meant that I WILL work part time in the future.
    Anyway, good luck!

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