Compliments-beauty’s in the eye of the beholder

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  • #31291
    PremedRNPremedRN
    Participant

    With all the demands to be perfect, beautiful, thin, have velumptuous lips and curvy hips and at the same time be the cooker,cleaner,snotty nosewiper, student/worker, doctor, puts a lot of pressure on us women. With all these messages being sent our way,….. we cant always be the superwomen we are excpected to be, let alone the super model, I dont know about you, but I get down.
    I have always felt awkward complimenting myself, maybe it is because I am always expecting someone to come with a cheap blow to my self esteem right after I compliment. Sorta like in elementary school. I think we all have felt like this at least one point in our lives—we are embarrassed to compliment ourselves. Sometimes our husbands or signifcant others dont do such a great job. But today we are going to boost our own self esteems by complimenting ourselves. My mom always told me if I wanted something done, to do it myself! If I cant compliment myself, I cant expect others too.
    So, let’s hear it. Give the best qualities of your physical appearance and of your character!

    Okay, here I go…..and boy is it feeling awkward.

    I have beautiful long, dark brown hair, down to my waist. I have naturally arched eyebrows.
    I am a very self righteous, cant stand to be done or hear someone else be done wrong. I am the most open-minded person you will probably ever meet. And I would make anyone, a good friend. :blush:

    Dana

    #31292
    wannaBmdwannaBmd
    Participant

    Well Dana I think you are wonderful!!! 😀

    Not very good at complimenting myself either, but here it goes…I have big, blue eyes, and I have this overwhelming need to help others, which I find very satisfying. Probably one reason I want to be a doctor! :goodvibes:

    #31293
    DO HopefulDO Hopeful
    Participant

    Hi Dana,

    I know what you mean about the pressures put on us women. Not to mention the pressures we put on ourselves to be “perfect.” My problem is that I have the worst habit of comparing myself to other people or caring too much about what others think instead of placing more value into what I actually think. :wave:
    Vanessa

    #31294
    PremedRNPremedRN
    Participant

    Come on! I know you guys arent going to pass up being able to compliment yourselves without being looked at as feeling like your above everyone else or stuck on yourselves.
    Dont be shy, or embarrassed. Lets hear it I know there’s beautiful qualities in you all!

    #31295
    shellbellshellbell
    Participant

    Alright, Alright if you really want to hear it. :p :guilty: But I am working on it as we speak.

    Ok here it goes, I feel so :blush: : I am tall 5’9 and have long legs. I have beautiful blue eyes and long blonde hair. Boy that felt good to say. I have not said anything good about myself in a looooooooooooong time. :cloud9: Thanks Dana

    Michelle

    #31296
    PremedRNPremedRN
    Participant

    uhhh Shell,
    about your weight—I asked for good things not things you dont like about yourself!! :p
    I think Im begining to notice that for some reason we seem to tell something neg about ourselves to be able to say something good. I had to stop myself from doing it when I first posted.
    In light of it all, maybe this post was meant for you. This is exactly what I wanted to accomplish, for someone who hasnt been able to compliment themselves to be able to. Good for you.

    Who else was this post meant for?

    #31297
    StartingOverStartingOver
    Participant

    O.k. best physical qualities: hair and legs. I have strong, healthy brown hair (and brown eyes) and the hairstylists always compliment me on my hair whenever I get my hair cut. I have nice long legs, and I’m tall and thin (but not too thin)–I am a healthy size 12 or 14.

    Best mental qualities: honest, hard-working, emotional, supportive, friendly/outgoing, and caring.

    This was kind of hard actually. I was tempted to throw in some negatives just for balance. I never compliment myself b/c when I do, it feels like I’m being vain. And vanity/arrogance is one of my least favorite traits and biggest pet peeves.

    Thanks for starting this topic.

    Love,
    Stacy

    #31298
    maggie52maggie52
    Participant

    Only positives? Whew…
    Red hair that is not from a bottle…
    good teeth and no cavities! 😀
    Strong nails that look good polished without fake ones put on!
    😉

    #31299
    PremedRNPremedRN
    Participant

    Maggie,
    OK, this is going to sound really weird, but somehow I KNEW you had red hair. I dont know why. But I knew. Awesome!
    It feels good being able to compliment ourselves, doesnt it?

    #31300
    DreyDrey
    Participant

    Lots of you are saying things about your physical features you like best, but I like hearing about which qualities you like about yourself better.

    I have pretty eyes and nice hair that hasn’t been touched by blowdryers or curling irons or hair dye. I am generous, intelligent and adventerous. I am a competent leader and I react well under pressure.

    #31301
    Stella7Stella7
    Participant

    :blush: complimenting yourself is so hard… but for the first time, I’m gonna go ahead and do that!

    I’ve got a very memorable face- people say it’s hard to forget me! I’m Middle Eastern, so I guess some perceive my looks as “exotic”: naturally dark eyelashes and perfectly arched eyebrows, expressive brown eyes, thick chestnut hair and a nice smile. I’m open and friendly, and I love learning. I left my country at the age of 16 and came to the US on a government scholarship, and here I am, a junior at 19, and an aspiring premed! *whoa* I can’t believe I just wrote this…

    You ladies are amazing… I am so grateful for this community! It’s so wonderfully diverse and warm. Only people like you could make me appreciate myself so much more 😀

    #31302
    DONOTDELETE ****DONOTDELETE**
    Participant

    I LOVE life! …and live it to the fullest! (this is something that I’ve learned in the last three years since my son was diagnosed) In fact, I have never loved life more than at this moment! Life isn’t about tomorrow although sometimes we fall into that trap. Happiness isn’t based on where we will be in the future, or what we will be, or what we may have, or even how we may look. Happiness is where I am right now, despite my circumstances. AFter all…we don’t know if we even HAVE tomorrow to live, so we better enjoy today to the FULLEST! God has blessed me EVEN in my current circumstances and I CHOOSE to rejoice in the good things rather than focus on the negative. SOOOOO I LOVE LIFE!

    I’ve discovered that people are drawn to me and my energetic look on life! People are important to me….even those I don’t really know such as my students who tend to give me excellent reviews with comments like “she genuinly cares about us”.

    I am fortunate enough to have several VERY close friends….gifts from God! These are the friends who “sculp” me into the image of God by pointing out not only my strengths, but those areas that “need a little work”. I am a devoted friend, who will drop anything to run to their aid.

    I’m very strong willed and determined! (I see these as strengths although my husband isn’t so sure!!! :blush: ) My determination has given me the strength of will to complete a graduate degree in chemistry (almost, I have two more classes and a seminar to give)! YEAH! …despite the evilness of one prof. who put stumbling blocks in my way. This same determination has allowed me to finish my studies with straight A’s (well, except for that one A- :blush: ) I LOVE learning and always have….this is one strength that I hope I pass on to my children.

    I’m passionate about my children and family. There is NOTHING that I wouldn’t give up for them. In fact each year we have a “state of the family” meeting where we talk about what worked and what didn’t during the last year. Since I’ve returned to school this “state of the family” address also addresses what my husband and children like and don’t like about me being in school. Last year my children said that they didn’t like it when someone else picked them up from school so we worked together and they decided that ONE day a week dad could pick them up and that I would be the one to take them to school every day. I had no idea at the time what an tremendous sacrifice this would be until Fall term was about to begin and I discovered that if I wasn’t willing to be on campus early two days a week then I would lose my T.A. appointment and would also lose my tuition waiver. I cried, but kept my promise and turned the appointment down. Yep, keeping my promises and making sacrifices for my family IS a strength of mine! But after all….of what use is a graduate degree or any education for that matter, if I were to lose my family? …and any satisfaction I may gain from my degree would be lost if my family felt that my education was more important than they are. NOTHING is worth THAT sacrifice! (oh, by the way, after another week went by, my university relented and offered me a T.A. appointment that fit within my schedule…but I didn’t know that was going to happen when I turned the T.A. appointment down. My son said it best I think….”God honors integrity”)

    I guard my heart…..watch VERY LITTLE T.V., even fewer magazines, and in general avoid those things that focus on outward beauty. I’ve never cared much for fashion, or pursuit of outward beauty, but prefer to focus on the pursuit of Godly character. Don’t misunderstand, I can “dress the part” when needed and enjoy the experience! …but there is just so much MORE to life to waste even a minute of it striving to be something that our society “thinks” should be. Yep, this is another strength…..it FREES me!!!

    I have learned to appreciate my strengths (most of the time) and to recognize that when I see someone who “appears” to have it all….I’m usually comparing THEIR strengths with MY weaknesses! It is so much more fun to compare MY strengths with THEIR weaknesses! 😉 Yep, I may not be able to sing like Lynn…..but her crafts look like crap!!! Get the idea? (I excell in crafts, and have sewn three wedding dresses, done flowers for 8 weddings, and done more “little crafts” than I care to mention)

    I have been uniquely (sp?) gifted! …and so have all of you! Choose to see who YOU were created to be!!! ….and don’t compare yourself to who I (or anyone else) was created to be!

    #31303
    PremedRNPremedRN
    Participant

    It must be nice to feel so free, which is such a task in the society we live today especially for women.
    Have you all noticed it is more acceptable for men to be overweight, and as we all know, for them to be more permisqueous? I just dont feel they have the same expectations, especially physically as we women do. Here’s an good example: (I think)…..imagine a woman balding with age (as some do, it can be an inheritance), she is not/would not be looked at the same as a man balding with age.
    So I think we women need to take time out and compliment ourselves—yes physically. It takes a little pressure off us, and feels great even if it is momentarily.
    I want to hear more!

    #31304
    CMH1974CMH1974
    Participant

    We are all very beautiful women, each in our own way! I am not great on complementing myself, but here I go… :rolleyes:

    I have that really thick hair that every person I know always wants. I am a natural 36D (Which here in Los Angeles is very rare). My hubby loves me just the way I am. :cloud9:

    #31305
    PremedRNPremedRN
    Participant

    :yikes: 36D!!! I just had to do that!

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