dealing with death

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  • #80833
    rydysrydys
    Participant

    My friend’s sister, who is also the mother of my son’s close friend, died tonight. I’m at a loss as to what to tell my 6 year old, who by nature is a very worried boy and somewhat obsessive. Anyone have any experience with these things or suggestions? I need to tell him soon before he sees his friend again in a few days.

    #80835
    CaLiGirL :)CaLiGirL:)
    Participant

    I don’t have any experience on this, but I just wanted to say that I’m terribly sorry about the loss. I hope all is well for her family. My thoughts and prayers will be with them as well as with you and your son… :grouphug:

    #80836
    sisriversisriver
    Participant

    There must be books that deal with this, geared to children – I think I saw that Maria Shriver had written one a couple of years ago, the story emphasized that people live on through our thoughts and actions. I think in one of the ‘What to Expect’ books, it says that children have most difficulty dealing with the ‘permanence’ of death. It does seem very important that you talk to him before he sees the friend. Some of the boy’s friends might desert him in such a situation, and your son would do great to stand by him.

    #80837
    sisriversisriver
    Participant

    how is it going?

    #80839
    rydysrydys
    Participant

    thanks for your help! My husband spoke to my son’s teacher who said that he planned to address the issue with the class, so I left it up to him. My son had trouble sleeping last night and said that his stomach hurt because he was thinking about mommies and daddies dying and leaving their children alone. We had a long talk about what death is and where his friend’s mommy is now (we’re Jewish so I explained that his mommy’s soul is watching over him from Heaven and she hasn’t really left him, just he can’t see her)and pointed out to him that his friend wasn’t left alone–he still had his father to take care of him and his grandmother to watch him when he comes home from school. Sticking to the concrete details and just answering his direct question seems to have put the issue to rest for now, but I’m sure I’ll be hearing about it again soon.

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