Kids or no kids?

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  • #81828
    drmoo55drmoo55
    Participant

    I know this forum is called MomMD, but I believe there are a few physicians who use this forum and do not have kids.

    Some are trying; some are not yet married; some are thinking about it.

    I am wondering if anyone here has been UNABLE to have kids for one reason or another; or if anyone has CHOSEN to not have kids.

    If not too personal, I would be interested in thoughts and feelings about this. I am currently in the position of having to make such a decision. As I have gotten older – after waiting through medical school & residency & now out in practice, I have had trouble conceiving. Those are the breaks when we postpone our reproductive years- it doesn’t last forever. I do not plan on using any fertility drugs or in vitro this or that as I feel those would be altering the course of what “is to happen” for me. Does that make sense? Anyway anyone who wishes to share is welcome.

    #81830
    laleelalee
    Participant

    First of all, I haven’t witnessed any discrimination against:
    expectant moms
    trying moms
    mom-in-training
    med-school moms
    or
    about-to-lose-their-minds moms

    (or dads, that matter! :blush: )

    So, ask away!
    But before I comment or suggest anything, may I ask WHY you are against in vitro? I can understand staying away from fert. drugs, but just wonder what your stance is on in vitro…I’m not an expert in this arena, just curious (I’m 32, might want another in a few years :scratchchin: )

    #81831
    drmoo55drmoo55
    Participant

    lalee
    I hope I didn’t imply that MomMD was against or not for those without kids. I have never felt that way. I’ve learned a lot from mothers and mothers-to-be.

    My main reason for not doing the in vitro route- well I don’t want all those hormones; I don’t want HARVESTING of my eggs; I don’t think I could handle the ups & downs during the process & possibly failing. The cost as well is a concern.

    in a way too, I wonder if I would be somehow “changing” my path? Does that make sense? Kind of changing what may be “God’s plan” for me. Maybe that is a cop -out, or maybe that somehow makes it easier for me to deal with it. I’m not sure. I’m not angry, but mainly frustrated and disappointed to some degree.

    Does that answer your question lalee?

    #81832
    sisriversisriver
    Participant

    My sister is in her upper 30s and had trouble conceiving, but did finally get pregnant with clomid and IUE. She has also talked about her “path” or what was meant to be for her, but saw a fertility specialist and this worked for her.

    #81834
    laleelalee
    Participant

    drmoo55
    I can definately understand not wanting to take all those hormones!! :guilty: Hope I didn’t offend you!
    This is absolutely a personal decision (in vitro). No one can tell you the “right” thing to do. You have to find that in your heart. I suppose my advice would be to educate yourself. Seek as many opinions from the “fertility experts” as you can. Speak to as many couples that have gone through the process…successfully AND unsuccessfully.
    Have you considered adoption?

    I am sure you’ve heard all of this before…sometimes, it just helps to know that others are out there praying for you and care.
    I wish you the best of luck…where ever your path takes you. Please keep us posted! :grouphug:

    #81835
    drmoo55drmoo55
    Participant

    lalee

    no offense was taken at all

    you have valid points. I have talked to several who have gone through treatment. I just have to come to terms with the possiblity that it may not happen for me.

    I was wondering of any of the members were without kids, but I don’t think that is the case here. Most are all trying or plan to have kids if not already.

    I will keep updates as things progress or not

    thanks for the hug 🙂

    #81837
    amykamyk
    Participant

    hey, drmoo —

    not a physician, but until a couple years ago I was very clear about not having children. Didn’t think I had time for the job and didn’t feel it would be fair to my kid to have two parents consumed by their work. That was my view, btw, is no judgment of how anyone else runs their families. I got burnt out, though, and realized I was willing to take a break; at the same time, I began to feel I was ready emotionally/financially/maturitywise to raise a child. And so here we are, and I’ve got to go feed Liesl in a few minutes.

    As for the assisted techniques…I understand what you’re saying about “meant to be”. It’s not how I view things, but yeah, it makes sense. If we hadn’t been able to get me solidly knocked up, btw, we’d probably have adopted.

    We may face that question again in a few years. I think I’m willing to have another child, but I don’t want to be playing genetic roulette for very much longer. Am already 35.

    amy

    #81839
    drmoo55drmoo55
    Participant

    amyk

    you touch on a problem I have as well- I’m 37 so up there & I think I know too much! :boggled:

    I can’t guarantee anything which makes the lack of control over the situation more annoying.

    So we will see. Adoption is also an option that I think we are considering more and more as my eggs age daily 😉

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