Living near family

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    Now that my children are in school I feel that I am ready to apply to med school. I want to live near family, so that the stresses of clinicals, residency, etc. will not be as great on our children.
    The problem is that my family is large and very close, while my husband’s is small and not as close. This means that members of my family are always into each other’s business, get togethers are loud, and you never really get a break from one another. Growing up in this type of environment, I thrive on the noise and energy. My husband, however is used to quiet and space, and an occasional phone call every month or so. Because of this, he does not want to live anywhere near family(his or mine). I don’t think that I can go to med school without the family support that I feel my children need in their lives.
    I also feel that it is very important that they really know and feel close to their extended family. If we don’t live near family, I feel like I should pursue a less demanding career, like teaching(timewise – I am not suggesting that this is an easier career)so that we will have summers and holidays to spend with family, so that my children can know and be close to their extended family…..but I really want to go to medical school!!!
    I know that ultimately, this is a personal decision, and I am aware that this may sound like whining to a lot of people, but I just needed to vent! Any opinions, comments?


    Couple of things come to mind.

    You could move close to your family, and set boundaries. No surprise visits…get caller ID and voicemail (to advert “unexpected” phone calls)…etc. Don’t expose your business (and teach your children that household business stays in the home). Don’t go to all of the family get togethers (you won’t be able to as a med student anyway)…simply send your children 😀 . My point, just because you live close to family doesn’t mean you have to let them violate the “peace” in your home. It’s up to you to set the tone.

    I’m a big advocate of “family.” And I feel strongly that both career and family can be done…and both done well. Why choose between the two…find a way to make them *both* work.


    I and my husband are like your hubby the further away the better he he. But, I do see your point with the children etc..I just like my time and and when I am willing to go see folks. But we are military so we had to adapt,,,


    Having my parents an hour away allowed us to get through residency with a toddler. My parents both work but sometimes were able to help us with sick child care, call nights when both of us had to work, and best of all would occasionally watch our son for a weekend so we could get away by ourselves! It was critical to our survival.

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