married momof3 medschool2004

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  • #113360
    TexasRoseTexasRose
    Participant

    Here’s what’s new.

    I’m getting 12 sessions (in 6 weeks) with a personal trainer for Christmas. 😀 I’m really excited because I’ve put on about 30 pounds in the last 18 months and I’m unhappy about it. It’s hard to make fitness a priority in the midst of school and family, though. So this is my gift to myself, some motivation, support, and acountability to get me back on track. The personal trainer is also a registered dietician and will be helping me work out how to eat well in the middle of all this insanity. 😉

    It’s not that I don’t know how to eat and exercise, I used to be very fit, I just haven’t worked out how to do it while juggling a million other things. But I want to be healthy and I want to look good and feel good. (and I want to stop having so much indigestion! :laughing: )

    Thanksgiving has been very nice. My parents, an uncle and a good friend came for dinner. Mom, bless her heart, did most of the cooking! 😮 It’s nice to have family around, and no class for a couple of days!

    Oh, and hubby starts his new job in a couple of weeks! 😀

    #113363
    TexasRoseTexasRose
    Participant

    Nothing new to say, really. Just that I’m still having problems in Anatomy and it’s my own fault because I’m too stressed out about the cadavers. The dissection we were supposed to do in lab last week was just barbaric, in my opinion. If I need to see a cross section of a pelvis, I’ll look at prosections and such. We would never in a million years do this to a person and although I see the learning value, I feel it is not necessary and unreasonable. I’d like to say more, but I don’t want to offend/upset anyone. 🙁

    On a positive note, I started working out with the trainer yesterday. My arms and legs are so sore!! I can’t believe how out of shape I’ve gotten in just a couple of years. at first I was embarrassed about it, but the trainer is very nice and upbeat. I feel like I’m doing a really good thing for myself. At the very least, I slept like a log last night. :cloud9: My mood has also been better overall. (the Anatomy thing is the only cloud on my horizon)

    Final exams start in 11 days, I think. I’ll be done with my first semester of med school in just over 2 weeks! Amazing.

    #113365
    TexasRoseTexasRose
    Participant

    1 down, 2 more tests to go this week. 😀 I can’t wait to be on break for 2 weeks!

    Life is rolling right along over here. The exam today was typically impossibly difficult, but I continue to tread water. I can’t brag about my grades, but at least I’m not likely to be remediating anything.

    My husband started his new job today. :goodvibes: It’s such a great feeling to know that he is coming home tonight after all this time of managing on my own during the week. I’m even more upbeat than usual. 😉

    You know that advice that you should surround yourself with people who make you feel good? It’s true, even in med school. Don’t get caught up in all the negativity that some people dwell in. It can only bring you down.

    Okay, back to the books with me. I have histology (like it) and anatomy (don’t!) practical exams tomorrow morning and a semester cumulative final on Thursday.

    Happy Holidays to all you wonderful women!

    #113367
    TexasRoseTexasRose
    Participant

    Well, I’ve started my 2nd semester of med school!

    We’re doing Immunology, Head & Neck Anatomy, Pharmacology, & Pathology. 😮 Having seen the syllabus for Immunology, I’m more than a little intimidated. But, I suppose it’s just like every other block we’ve had so far. I’ll find a way to do it.

    The visit with my family over the holidays was unusually stressful. Lots of tension. My brother and his wife feeling bad becuase they have had to borrow money from all of us while my brother was unemployed this Fall. It doesn’t bother me, I know how tough things have been for them, but I guess they are pretty embarrassed to be in that spot.

    My mom is dealing with my grandmother’s Alzheimer’s. It’s a mean, mean disease. To have my grandmother, the only grandparent I have ever known (others all died young), not recognize my husband or remember exactly who I am is so heartbreaking. I can’t imagine how hard it is for my mom to not have her mother anymore. I mean, my grandmother is there in body, but she’s no longer capable of carrying a long conversation, much less acting the part of a parent to my mom. The fact that her mother suffered from the same disease makes me fearful for my own mom.

    Since med school, I’ve become a bit more fearful of the future health of my loved ones in general. I find myself fearing cancer and heart disease in a way I never did before. I’ve been fortunate in that I have both my parents and the loss of my grandparents occurred before I was even born. So both my parents lost a parent when they were kids. 🙁 I have yet to lose anyone close to me. I count myself lucky on the one hand, but know that it waits around the corner at the same time. Spending all day reading about medicine and illness makes that more of a reality. Life seems to fragile and unlikely sometimes…

    But then, I look around me and I see my classmates and my husband and my kids and know that I’ve just got to be grateful for all that I have. (Med school can make you morbid sometimes!)

    My husband has begun his new job in town. I’m not at all used to thinking of him as being here every evening. I still find myself thinking about “when he goes out of town next week…” LOL

    Time to take my sniffley nose back to the books. I plan to do something other than just tread water this block! (big dreams indeed! 😉 )

    #113370
    TexasRoseTexasRose
    Participant

    still sick. :p I think the head cold dovetailed into a full blown allergies. *shrug* Oh well!

    The most amazing thing happened for me yesterday. As those of you who read my blog know, Anatomy has been a real sore point for me. I resolved at the beggining of the week that this Block would be different. I need to do better in this course not only because it’s important medically, but because the grade will now stand alone instead of being averaged into all the other courses as we did last semester.

    So yesterday was the first Head & Neck lab. I was worried about my reaction. Worried that working near the face would freak me out. Worried that I wouldn’t know or understand the material well enough to make lab worthwhile. I studied our lab handout Thur night and was almost in tears. Half the material hadn’t even been covered in class yet (typical) and on top of that I had a severe headache. I pushed through anyway.

    Before lab we have a large group session where the professor demonstrates what we are supposed to do in lab itself. Then it happened. My natural curiosity about the brain and my desire to do well kicked in and overcame my fear. I went into lab almost looking forward to it. My 2 tankmates (the 3rd was a no-show) were much more hesitant than usual about the dissection. So what did I do? I jumped in, grabbed a tool and did the job myself! 😀

    Okay, to some this may seem like no big deal, but it was huge to me. For the first time I was able to see past the dead body in front of me and see the learning and benefit that I was getting from the hands-on work. I actually held a brain in my hands! I was amazed, thinking about how every memory this person had every had, every thought and feeling, was generated in this intricate mass of tissue. Truly a turning point for me. The neuro doc who was observing our work and making sure we didn’t botch up the dissection (we will be dissecting the brain in Neuro next Block) came by our tank and complimented the fine work we’d done. My tankmate piped up and credited me with the work. It would not be an exaggeration to say that they looked at me a little differently after that. Not because of the compliment, but because I had finally become an active member of the team.

    No more hiding from lab for me, I am reformed! :rotfl:

    On top of that positive experience, I also got my grades back from last semester. (yes, it took a month!) I didn’t knock anyone’s socks off, but I finished the semester solidly in the middle of our 20 point Pass range. Given that I started at the bottom of that range in August, I feel pretty good about that.

    I know now that I’m not going to be wow-ing anyone with my grades in Basic Sciences, but that I can hold my own. And my kids and my husband are doing well, too. That’s good enough for me. Heck, that’s better than good enough. It’s everything I want from life.

    #113372
    TexasRoseTexasRose
    Participant

    Tomorrow my son is having his tonsils and adenoids out. I’m happy that we’re finally taking care of this, and scared at the same time. He’s had many bouts of strep that take multiple antibiotics to clear and seems to have some sleep apnea as well. So I know he’s a good candidate for the surgery, but I can’t help but be nervous.

    On top of that, he was almost hit by a car yesterday while he was out riding his bike. When I say almost, I mean he was on the ground in front of her bumper and she hit the wheel of his bike. Thank God she didn’t hit him. He was riding his bike across a street as she was turning the corner onto the same street. They both slammed on their brakes and he fell over. Poor woman thought she had hit him. They were both kind of in shock when she came to the door to explain what happened. (I was in the bathroom at the time) My poor kiddo was really shaken up, although he it didn’t really hit him until he told me that his wheel was bent by the car. The visual image I got of him laying on the ground in front of her car bumper…

    The good news is, he only got a few bruises from falling off his bike and he seems to be fine today. Oh, my baby.

    In other news, I’ve been given the opportunity to change preceptors. I did have an Obgyn. Now I’ll be working with a Pediatrician and I’m very happy about it. 😀 I could say more, but from time to time I’m reminded that this is not a completely anonymous venue! 😉

    #113375
    TexasRoseTexasRose
    Participant

    The thing about being a parent is that life doesn’t always follow your script. Okay, sometimes it’s more like rarely follows your script. 😉

    My son had his tonsil & adenoid surgery yesterday. Poor kid had to spend 3+ hours in the waiting room because the surgeon was behind schedule. He was so hungry and thirsty. I really felt for the even younger kids who were waiting. At least you can tell an 8 year old why he has to wait.

    In all honesty, the surgery was more difficult for him than I expected. Tonsilectomies are so common it seems like it’s no big deal. Well, it’s a pretty big deal to the kid who has it. :crossfingers:

    #113377
    TexasRoseTexasRose
    Participant

    Still having trouble getting on track. That may be because my kids are all at home with me and need my attention every 10 minutes!

    Harder than any OChem class, harder than the MCAT or interviewing, harder even than any med school course is being a parent. No one can explain it adequately to someone who hasn’t had kids. It isn’t that I don’t enjoy being a parent, I do!, or that my kids are bad, they’re not! What’s tough is that being a good parent means being on your toes all the time. Once you have your kids’ figured out, they go and change on you!

    I find myself these days facing a slightly rebellious 10 yr old daughter. She challenges everything I say and often seems to argue just for the sake of arguing. She even talks to me, at times, as if I were her equal. It’s quite startling when this happens, her snide comments to what I’m saying or rolling her eyes. So far I’ve been able to assert my role as the parent without losing my temper, thank goodness! But honestly, it can be infuriating. I know that what she is doing is developmentally appropriate, but it’s aggravating nonetheless. 😉

    I’m swamped with work I need to be doing for school. Still somewhat reeling for the last week. Close friends of mine are in a nasty fight and I’m doing my best to be understanding and yet stay out of the middle. It’s hard.

    My son is recuperating, but I’ve been surprised at just how much of a toll this surgery has taken on him. He actually asks me for pain medicine. This, my stoic son who rarely complains when he has strep. His voice is still quite different, and sometimes he has trouble with certain words. Intellectually, I know this is because his adenoids have been removed and he’s having a bit of trouble closing his soft palate against the back of his throat. ( I was once a speech therapist)It’s still so strange to hear it coming from my kid.

    That’s the thing about being a parent, a wife, a friend, a child, and a med student. You can never be just one of these things at a time, and often you have to be nearly all of them at once!

    Here’s a handy phrase that has been getting me to the gym, up for class each and everyday, and there when people need me. My friend asked me how I do it, and I said “it’s what I do.” I had never really thought about it like that, but it is how I manage to juggle all of these roles. I just accept that it’s what I do.

    Now if I could just get that way of thinking to work for me in the diet department! :laughing:

    Back to class tomorrow, which, in some ways, is easier than being at home. 😉

    #113380
    TexasRoseTexasRose
    Participant

    Using the blog to vent again. 😉 It seems like I was singing the praises of my babysitter just the other day.

    I had to fire her today.

    How quickly things change. The short version of the story is that she’s either shown up late or not shown up at all 4 times since the beginning of the month. We were also having a problem with her asking to be paid in cash and asking for money up front. I’m pretty sure she didn’t show up yesterday when she knew I was home because she was angry that I couldn’t give her $39 in cash on Friday. (I had given her the rest of her money for the week on Tuesday so she could move to a new apartment!) Why couldn’t I give her cash? Because I was home with my son who had just had surgery the day before. 😡 She didn’t want a check, though, and she didn’t want to come on Sat. for the cash.

    All in all, things went south very quickly. I think something is going on in her personal life that is making her act strangely, but I can’t afford to have my kids shouldering that burden. So what was a perfect arrangement last semester has now fallen apart. 🙁 No idea what to do now.

    I was already uncomfortable about hiring someone to come into my home everyday. Now I’m even more leary of it. But the alternative is afterschool care at a daycare. That wasn’t working so well in August, I’m not sure it’ll be any better this time. *sigh*

    Of course there’s a little voice in the back of my head saying “it’s all gonna fall apart now!” I know this isn’t true, but it’s a scary thought nonetheless.

    On the plus side, at least I got through my first semester of med school without any glitches and I feel solid enough as a student now that I won’t wonder if I can do it. Also, my husband is here and willing to help out, as is my MIL. (not a consistent source of help, but good this week)

    You know, I was saying yesterday that the mindset “it’s what I do” is sorta the way I operate. It kills me that I’m not doing my routine right now, that things are up in the air and my day to day is not reasonably predictable.

    OTOH, this is a learning experience. I’ve never hired or fired anyone before. No doubt if I someday become a private practitioner I will have to do it many times over. So there you go, my uplifting spin on this whole matter, it’s good practice for the future. :laughing:

    #113382
    TexasRoseTexasRose
    Participant

    Things are looking up. 🙂

    I think I’m going to send my boys to a Montessori program after school. It’s much more structured and the groups are smaller so there’s less chance of bullying and such. My daughter will stay with my MIL 3 days a week, and I’ll be home with her on Tues&Fri afternoons. Her bus doesn’t arrive ’til after 4pm, so I’ll still have time to study after class. My husband is actually scoping out the Montessori place today. First time ever he’s been involved in child care arrangements.

    So I’ve learned that after tonsil surgery, scabs form on the throat where the tonsils were removed. When they start to fall off, it’s apparently really painful. This explains why my son has been having such a tough time the last couple of days. He’s doing much better now, talking more and looking a bit more lively. Thank goodness.

    Now I need to devote the weekend to making up for all the work I haven’t done for the last couple of weeks.

    I think we’re past all the little crises now. *phew!*

    #113384
    TexasRoseTexasRose
    Participant

    Things are back in gear, more or less. I am currently having a PMS moment, but at least I know what it is! :rotfl: Oh, how I remember the days of being introduced as his spouse at work-related parties and having his coworkers smile indulgently and so “oh how nice for you!” when they were told I was a SAHM.

    My, how things have changed…

    #113387
    TexasRoseTexasRose
    Participant

    :censored: :censored:

    I am without my boundless positive attitude today. Childcare is the biggest headache in my life and I would give so much just to have it taken off my plate. I can’t believe that what was a simple matter last semester has turned into the biggest glitch in our lives now.

    The boys started at the Montessori school yesterday. After my husband picked them up, they told him that they had trouble understanding the computer teacher’s accent (Indian, they haven’t been around it much yet) and that he would get annoyed with them and grab them by the shoulder’s to physically move them where he wanted them to be. My husband was very upset by this and told the program director this wasn’t acceptable to us. (Since we’ve never had the kids complain about a teacher before, we took them seriously.)

    So today when I went to pick them up one of the boys tells me that they weren’t allowed in the computer room today. I asked if they got in trouble or why they couldn’t go in. They said he wouldn’t tell them why, but that he told the other teacher he “didn’t want those two in his classroom.” I was appalled.

    I went back in the school and asked to speak to the director. The boys told her what happened. I told her I felt this was retaliation for what happened yesterday. (the director assured me she had told him he much not touch the students like that.)

    Anyway, the man lied when he told his side of the story to the director. 😡 I know with almost 99.9% surety that my kids didn’t make this story up. I’m furious and now my husband has taken them out of the program.

    Now I have no childcare after school again.

    I’m beggining to feel a bit thwarted. :p

    #113390
    TexasRoseTexasRose
    Participant

    Husband out of town, MIL out of town, eldest child sick with flu, fever 102.

    *shakes fist at sky* What have I done to deserve this??? :rotfl:

    Honestly, it seems I can’t catch a break for anything.

    On the positive side, I had a very productive day catching up with school work.

    On the down side, I’ll be lucky to be back in class by Thursday.

    Exams begin in 10 days.

    How’s that saying go? some days you get the bear, some days the bear gets you? :p

    #113392
    MomMDMomMD
    Participant

    PLEASE send messages to diarists via private messages. The thread is for use only by the author. I will leave this message up a few days for her to read. Then it will be deleted.

    #113395
    TexasRoseTexasRose
    Participant

    The bear got my husband on friday. :p My son came down with the virus and hubby stayed home with him. Thank you, hubby. :)Fortunately, he’s able to work well from home.

    I’m preparing for exams in Head & Neck anatomy :laughing:

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