January 26, 2004 at 11:54 am #70587CaLiGirL:)Participant
How do you handle a situation where you find that a particular kid is really picking on your child? There’s this one girl, who attends my daughter’s daycare, and a year older, that will humiliate my daughter in front of all of the other children at the daycare. One time, that other girl even went as far as pushing my daughter, calling her “ugly”, etc… Another time, my daughter was using the restroom… that girl runs in and laughs at my daughter, pointing her finger, then proceeds to bring in a whole bunch of other kids to ridicule my daughter, while she’s still on the toilet!
I’ve told my daughter to ignore her, and since I know that other girl’s mom, I confronted her with the issue. Still, it hasn’t seemed to stop. Now, should I just brush it off? After all, the girl is only 6. I do get very angry when hearing this, but I don’t know what else to do, since I’ve already talked to her mom about it. 🙁
Now, the other issue is… I’ve noticed that now, my daughter seems determined to become friends with this girl. I tell her, that friends do not call each other names, get physical, or humiliate their friends on purpose, and that she should try to understand that maybe… this girl is simply not her friend. Despite all of these long talks we’ve had, she still comes home and says, “I let Soandso take my doll home today, b/c I want to be nice, and I want her to be my friend.” Do I let her do this, or should I teach her otherwise? I’m really confused as to what to do…
Anyone? 🙂January 26, 2004 at 7:43 pm #70589wannaBmdParticipant
Actually, I think you are doing a great job! I’ve had a problem or two with my oldest (6yo) I found that these problems (at least at a younger age) tend to work themselves out with time. Just let your child know how great you think they are! I will say that I am really dissapointed in the other mother 😡 . She could have nipped this problem in the bud. Your daughter wanting to be friends with her just confirms what a sweet and caring person she is and will grow up to be (apple didn’t fall far from the tree! 😉 ) I would ask her not to allow her toys to be taken home by the other girl. My son did the same thing, and then couldn’t understand why the kid was still mean.
But I think you are doing a GREAT job, just give her extra loves :goodvibes:January 27, 2004 at 6:30 am #70591mommd2bParticipant
I feel your pain on this one, Caligirl. We have faced a similar situation. My daughter also very much wanted to be friends with this little girl and it broke my heart that she treated my daughter so badly.
At the end of the day I think that you will have to deal directly with your daycare provider on this one. I do think it needs to be addressed and if need be the girls should be separated whenever possible. This ends up setting a bad precedent for your daughter….she is treated bad but still seeks out the friendship. My daughter’s self-esteem really plummited. I finally stopped the contact with this young girl all together and pointed my daughter in a different direction. I know that the other little girl was also only 6 at the time (this happened over a year ago) but talking with her mom didn’t help and the little girl wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t let it keep affecting Amanda.
It took my daughter several months to make a new ‘best friend’ and start coming out of her shell more. But now she is very happy in her friendships and is so much more self-confident. I’m glad now that I interfered…even though I had second thoughts at the time.
krisJanuary 30, 2004 at 5:28 pm #70593CaLiGirL:)Participant
Thanks for the replies. 🙂
Well, I’ve told my daughter that she is no longer allowed to let anyone take her belongings home. The reason why I emphasized that she is not allowed to let anyone take it, rather than isolating it to that girl, is b/c I don’t want my daughter to catch on that I may have something against the mean girl in particular, since I believe that moms should try to remain respectable in a sense… :goodvibes:
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