March 4, 2003 at 1:59 am #90071KahkeetseeParticipant
I’m a 40 year od pre-med student with 6 hours until graduation. 😀 I have 3 kids, ages 5,11,19, and a very supportive husband. I am taking the MCAT in April and applying this year WITHOUT my school’s HPAC letter! 😡 Despite doing well,my overall from 15 years ago is not good. I work as a pedi home health nurse (16 years), and am in the middle of not only doing school, family, work, studying for the MCAT, but also involved in convention planning for another great group that I serve as president (OldPreMeds). WOW! It keeps me running, but I love it!!March 4, 2003 at 11:28 am #90074**DONOTDELETE**Participant
Hi! :wave: I’m Rinah. I’m from the Philippines. My husband Mark and I passed the licensure exam last August. :goodvibes: He’s having his residency training in General Surgery at The Medical City 😎 . I, on the other hand, decided to forego my OBGYN residency at least after I give birth :blush: . We wanted to make sure everything’s perfect for our first angel. We’re expecting our baby this June and we both can’t wait. I love this site. And I’m having fun :rotfl: with these graemlins!March 4, 2003 at 6:32 pm #90076leebud22Participant
Hi there! I am a 31 year old 4th year med student, just awaiting graduation. I’ve pushed all of my vacation to the end, so technically I am done!
I am not going through the Match this year, as I am expecting my first child ANY day now! My husband and I decided that the timing was perfect to spend a year at home with baby, and not go straight into residency. I am planning to go through Match next year, and I really want to go into pediatrics.
Some history. . .always thought I wanted to be in medicine, but I am not a “science person,” so I went for psychology. Didn’t really love it like I thought I would, so after I graduated, went back and took science classes, applied to med school (twice), and got in. Being older definitely has its advantages–I have a very different perspective on my career than many of my younger classmates.
Although I have some doubts about entering a field in so much turmoil, I really do love seeing patients, and can’t picture myself doing anything else.
Good luck to all of you applicants out there–it’s tough work, and there will be days when you question your sanity, but it is a good choice, in my opinion.March 4, 2003 at 6:53 pm #90078fpresParticipant
Hi, I’m Kelly. I’m a Family Practice third year resident just about to graduate from University of Missouri. I hope to stay here in academia because I like to teach and I want to do OB, which no other FP group in my town is doing secondary to malpractice issues. I’ve been married for nine years to my stay-at-home husband, Chris. We have two girls, Megan, 5, and Madeline, 2. I stay very, very busy. I also moonlight in our town’s other hospital’s ER. In fact, I’m a little ashamed to admit that after clinic last night, I fell asleep on the couch at 6 pm and didn’t wake til this morning 😉 .
I’ve taken a little different route, since I left my first residency due to some burnout, found out I was pregnant, and decided to stay home with kids for about 18 months, then returned to a second year residency spot. Luckily my alma mater knew me well enough to take a chance on me for the remainder of my training. I’m stressing a little about finding a job because we really want to stay here in Columbia. Megan’s in kindergarten, and we don’t want to move her. Plus, we like it here! I interviewed for a faculty position the other day, and thought it went well, but now I’m having post-interview malaise. Nice to meet you all!March 4, 2003 at 11:43 pm #90080VictoriaParticipant
Hi! I am a 36 year old psychiatrist and mother of a 2 year old son and wife of a very supportive husband. I realized after I had my son that I could not leave him for someone else to raise so I have worked only part-time or locum tenens since his birth.
My finances have suffered horribly because of this decision because of the high expenses of medical training and practice and falling reimbursement rates.
I have become fed up and used my disappointment to fuel 2 new projects. One is a book and website helping professional women who want to work from home. (I have also become a life/career coach).
The other is a book (not quite complete yet) on unique, flexible ways that women physicians can make money from home (through medical websites and other ventures).
I am interested in homeschooling and wonder if there are any other mommd’s who are homeschooling? (I did read another post in this forum of one other homeschooling mommd but I wonder if there are more.)
MomMd members, feel free to email me with any questions. I love to help!March 5, 2003 at 12:02 am #90083Med4MomParticipant
I am a 37 year old mother to three children (2, 4, and 6). I have a BBA and MBA and have worked in non-profit, investment banking and consulting. My husband is a dentist in solo practice and a huge support. I have spent the past 1.5 years taking prereqs and have applied for fall 2003. :crossfingers: Still having a few doubts though, but it may be just “waiting” nerves… :scratchchin:March 5, 2003 at 2:20 am #90085njbmdParticipant
I’m 39, a private practice neurologist for 8 years, I have 2 sons age 9 and 6. My husband is a private practice oncologist who works incredibly long hours and is essentially married to his job, with us on the side. I can no longer do it. Double MD marriages are horrendous, and the woman is usually the one who pays the price. I am ready to quit, except that I have only one partner, and work in a underserved area. My partner would probably commit suicide if I quit. My kids are paying the price for all of this. Did I really go through all this training so my kids could be raised by strangers? It was fine when they were little and their needs were simple, but at their age they need a full time mom. I am struggling because I was given too many gifts in life- the talent to be a good physician, the even greater gift of my wonderful children, and a husband who makes enough money that I don’t have to work if I don’t want to. Mine is essentially a problem of luxury, but a heart-rending one. I don’t think I would choose this career path if I knew then what I know now.March 5, 2003 at 11:55 pm #90087rlynnfpParticipant
Well, I’ve been a member for about 4 years but until now, only read stuff, never posted. It’s very interesting to read everyone’s stories. I am married, mother of two children, ages 11 and 5 and a full-time family practice doctor for the past 4 plus years. As you do the math, you can see my son was 1 when I went to medical school. Would I do this over again? I don’t know. Would I encourage anyone to do this, especially female? NO. My niece is in medical school right now in her 3rd year. I tried to talk her out of it. Even after her first year I told her she could quit then and only be 20K in debt. (My sister thought I was being mean.)
I have a very supportive husband who is not a physician. He just quit his full-time management position a few months ago and is now focussing on remodelling our house, taking kids to/from school, etc. Life is not a bed of roses. I have no idea how people who have two full-time careers manage with kids. Well, actually I do. You have a full-time nanny and live with it. The thing is, I don’t want someone else raising my children.
There really are all sorts of issues I could address that fall under the “not like I thought it would be” category. I work 50-60 hours a week plus call. Two days of the week I work 7a-3p so I can get home before 6:30pm which is my average time to get home on days I work until 5. I’ve had to “explain myself” to an insurance company twice this year regarding patient complaints, neither of which had any basis and the insurance company agreed, however…It still takes time and energy (and emotional toll). The first one was like a kick in the teeth. Patients complain about everything and anything.
Now, mind you, I’ve wanted to be a doctor since I was six and I truly feel called to do this. I enjoy people and I enjoy helping them. I’ve just learned you can’t be everything to everyone all the time. You really can’t “have it all”. No matter what you are doing you will be neglecting some part of your role. Good doctor-bad mother/wife and vice versa. Some of this you just have to learn to tolerate and as long as things are basically clicking along I can roll with it. Then something falls– a kid is sick, a lady is in labor but it’s your child’s star performance in the school play. Your colleague wants to talk about work stuff after work, but you know if you stay and do it it will mess up dinner/homework/bath/bedtime. You name it, it happens.
I suppose what drew me back to this site was the deal about Dr. I Deality vs. Dr. R Eality because that is the truth. I like what I do. Some days I love it and some days I hate it. Every January I want to do something else (everybody’s sick and grouchy). I still owe over 100K for my education. Ideally I’d like to practice parttime but that’s not possible at this point. No matter what, I’m still my kid’s mom and there are times I’m going to be home with them when they are sick because I’m their mother. My husband can handle it mostly, but sometimes I just want to be the mom. The consequence to that is a full day of patients rescheduled (where?), etc., etc.
I decided to post because I think it’s important to hear the truth. One of my friends and I were lamenting our student loan burden toward the end of medical school. He said he had a mentor tell him not to worry about the loans. That they wouldn’t be anything in a few years, no big deal, etc. We both laughed wryly at that. The fact is, people who went to medical school ten plus years before us did not have near the loan burden and it was not nearly the big deal it is now. I could go on, but I’ve got patients to see.
Best of luck. (sorry. I didn’t see the little faces until now. Maybe next time)March 6, 2003 at 9:16 am #90089FernetteParticipant
All right. I’d like to add an addendum to my initial remarks. The truth is there is no clear roadmap ahead of us doctor-moms. And double doctors (married to doctors) is even murkier. There are many hellish jobs out there (some death by inches, some death immediately), and I stumbled into to some of them (and stumbled out). And I would agree- although many women get ‘warnings’ about the personal demands of medicine, you don’t really know until you’ve gotten there & have your kids & you learn what things will be like. The face of medicine is changing with so many women physicians (who are still doing most of parenting, school, homework etc). I do think it’s very important to draw lines & not to dump on your family, or bail when you’re running yourself & family into the ground. My private practice is the best I could have ever dreamed of– and it also meant I could be there for one of my kids who was having difficulty in school (we are homeschooling him too). I do think more women mds can do what I’m doing– and would be happy to share. You can’t take all the patients, you do have to limit your practice, but it is possible to make it work. I don’t know anyone who is doing what we’re doing (my husband included– we tag team looking after our son– gifted with learning difficulties)…but this combination is better than I could have hoped for. I can also make all my daughters’ school shows. This is totally the way to do it. Fernette email@example.comMarch 7, 2003 at 4:55 am #90092FrauParticipant
I’m 39, divorced with three kids (14,11,6). Currently an MSII after working clinical lab/ Med Tech for 15 years. It is true that you cannot do it all, but sometimes you have to anyway. I didn’t HAVE a choice to stay home w/ my kids – I HAD to work to support my family. I did so, and now it’s MY turn! :yes: Although it is a juggle to be in Med School with kids, I will have the “luxury” of getting into practice just as they are getting ready to leave home. I won’t have the “when can I have a baby” blues. Thank God!March 8, 2003 at 12:02 am #90094texasmedParticipant
I am an MS0 at UT Southwestern medical school. I will be starting in August, and my husband will be starting his 3rd year here in July. We have decided that we won’t just settle for the already discouraging life of a double-doctor marriage, but we have set it up so that we are 2 years apart. This means we will be 1st/3rd years together for both medical school and residency, and we won’t be eligible for the couple match. Besides that, I am excited to be embarking on my medical education – it has been a long road to this point. I am 22, and have a B.S. in Biomedical Science. We don’t have any children, but are practicing parenting with our two cats Yoda and Fungus and hope to add a dog to the family. Isn’t it sad that owning a dog is a scary prospect for a medical student? I am an outspoken supporter for changing the residency match system and residency regulations. I just hope things change before I get there! This site is great, and I look forward to hearing about life on the other side of those four torturous years known as medical school.
LaurenMarch 8, 2003 at 12:18 am #90096FlynnsmommyParticipant
Hi, I’m Jill, pediatrician for 3 years (finished residency in 2000) and, more importantly, mom to 6-week Flynn!! I do love my job but am having a hard time thinking about going back to work. I am currently trying to work out a part-time schedule with my two male partners. Fortunately I have a wonderful husband of 1 year (we got pregnant on our wedding night – oops!) who is willing to be a stay-at-home dad. I wish I could take more than three months off but financially that’s impossible. Student loans are the problem… Does anyone have any suggestions on a good work schedule for a new mom(ie, afternoons vs mornings etc.)? I am completely new to this site and the mommyhood but love both!March 8, 2003 at 10:27 am #90099bjwarrenParticipant
I am a 28 yo single mommy of a beautiful baby girl – now more than a year old. Wow, time flies!
I am a part-time sophomore pre-med at the University of Evansville. I also work there full-time to pay for it. I am trying to find ways to pay and go full-time, but each 4 hour class is $2000. :boggled:
BrandiMarch 8, 2003 at 11:37 pm #90101rtmc1Participant
My name is Teri and I am currently getting my undergraduate degree. Not sure in what, I’m thinking sociology but it could be different tomorrow :tired: , but I know everything I do can either impact them in a positive or negative way, so I try to stay upbeat. We live in NE, which is a great place to raise a family(cost of living, safety). And that is about it.
TeriMarch 9, 2003 at 4:22 am #90103gimleteyedParticipant
Goody, introductions! I’m a 28-year old Post-Bacc Who Should Know Better :p . My dad is a plastic surgeon who finished his training in the Army after they drafted him and then stayed on for another 24 years. He retired into private practice in 1995 (one of the worst times in terms of HMOs) to a state with a notoriously lousy Medicaid plan (Tennessee). So I’ve seen a lot of the ugly involved from that perspective.
I’ve been working at a major teaching hospital in NYC for the past 2 years, first in the office of the Chairman of Pediatrics, then in an Endocrine clinic, now in the Pediatric HIV unit. I, uh, learned at lot from the first experience :censored: , but I really love what I’m doing now.
Most of my work centers around adolescents; doing outreach counseling and testing, publishing a newsletter, helping with group sessions and tutoring for the HIV+ teens, etc. Every now and then I get to help out with some clinical research for kicks. :cloud9:
I’m doing the Physics/Gen Chem part of my post-bacc work, with Organic Chem/Bio scheduled for next year. I’m very excited about the Bio; I’d like a better understanding of CD4 receptors, nucleoside vs. non-nuc reverse transcriptase inhibitors, etc.; not to mention all the really wild stuff I saw in endo clinic!
As for my home life, I’m married (almost 3 years, but we’ve been buddies for over 10 years), two cats, and a mortgage that lets us live super-cheap about 30 minutes north of NYC. DH and I are feeling very ready for a little kiddo, but we’ll probably try to wait until 2nd year of med school (assuming I make it in!). He works from home and is VERY committed to being the primary caregiver–which is really the only way I can imagine myself able to handle being a full-time MD and a mother. I swear I wake up every morning and thank God for that man!
Sorry for the novelization–I was an English major in my “past” life and I type 70wpm! 😀
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