need advice!

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  • #26202
    su4n2su4n2
    Participant

    Hi, i am 24 and have been married for 1.5 years. i ahve always been driven to be a doctor, and took the Aug MCAT. i didn’t think that i did well and am waiting to apply after i get my scores. i always thought that i would have children after i complete training but i would be 33-34 then and i do not think that it’s a good time to start becasue my mother went through early menapause at 38. i am considering trying to get pregnant and taking the mcat at 6 months pregnant and then having a year with my child b-4 i start school. this would give me an opportunity to watch my baby grow that i would never have again. i see my friend who had her baby during internship and she is miserable. she doesn’t get to see her son. i would like some feedback about this especially from people who have started med school with a child as young as 1 and have done 3rd year/internsgip with a toddler. i have written out a pro/con list that i will share, but first i would like to hear what you guys think about this. thanx, susan

    #26203
    Brooke TroutBrooke Trout
    Participant

    Hi Susan,
    Welcome. You mom went through menopause at 38. How about her sisters and mother and aunts, etc. sometimes menopause can vary dramatically. For me it will be around 42. My mother, her two sisters, my gandmother, and even cousins stop then. I have known people who couldn’t pinpoint it because it happened at different times to family members.
    It is most certainly your choice of when to have a baby. I can say that my daughter spent more than 40 hours a week in daycare. Usually about 50-60. I became very aware of quality vs quanity. if you feel you must have a child ASAP make sure it is for the right reasons. Fear of infertility is a large issue. But, make sure you are ready to drastically change your life right now. Are you reasonably secure, etc. Having a baby should be a well balenced thought out choice if possible. Taking the MCAT being pregnant should not be an issue. Pregnancy is not a disability. You may have to pee more, but most people will allow that given your physical appearance.
    You can only do what is good for you. I can give you all sorts of advice, but, ultimately it comes down to what works for you. I am sure a solution will come to you. Sometimes letting go of the issue for a bit of time can give better clarification. Take a step or two back, get out of the immediate situation, then view it. Sometimes direct and active involvement in any situation can hinder us from complete understanding of a given situation.
    Good Luck,
    Brooke

    #26204
    su4n2su4n2
    Participant

    Thanx Brooke,
    re menapause my aunt had a hysterectamy in her late forties. i think she was getting her period still. my grandmother passed away b-4 i was born, my mom doesn’t know because they didn’t talk about those things. the reason i think it will be early is cause my body is just like my mothers. periods started same age, same ammount of pain. but infertility is not the only reason i am thinking of it now- i never thought i would even be married b-4 my 30’s. here’s a list of pro/cons that i made.

    PRO
    have a year to spend w/baby and not have child during internship/residency/medschool
    – get started on family- want a couple
    – have tons of love and support- best hubby, he cooks, cleans, and spent all of high school baby sitting.
    – both have parents that live 3 min away, could help w/babysittingplus will have joy
    – reduce my chances of breast cancer- grandmother had, i was told that i am slightly at risk cause have fibrocystic breast disease
    -spend year w/baby ause will never have a chance to do that.

    CONS
    money, hubby is a social worker but plans going back to school to become a crna- will have to liv on loans
    – free time to do cool stuff. we live in NYC and are always hanging out. also can’t travel (but actually right now for the next 5 years won’t have the money, and have already been to tons of places)
    – will be a hundred times harder to study in med school, will have to just pass, which means letting go of the competitive specialties that offer good lifestyles
    – will be hard third year becasue by then baby will be 3 and emotionally attached. scared to psychologically damage for life. same goes for residency.

    sorry this is so long, but i would love feedback from people in similar situations.

    #26205
    su4n2su4n2
    Participant

    Thanx Brooke,
    re menapause my aunt had a hysterectamy in her late forties. i think she was getting her period still. my grandmother passed away b-4 i was born, my mom doesn’t know because they didn’t talk about those things. the reason i think it will be early is cause my body is just like my mothers. periods started same age, same ammount of pain. but infertility is not the only reason i am thinking of it now- i never thought i would even be married b-4 my 30’s. here’s a list of pro/cons that i made.

    PRO
    have a year to spend w/baby and not have child during internship/residency/medschool
    – get started on family- want a couple
    – have tons of love and support- best hubby, he cooks, cleans, and spent all of high school baby sitting.
    – both have parents that live 3 min away, could help w/babysittingplus will have joy
    – reduce my chances of breast cancer- grandmother had, i was told that i am slightly at risk cause have fibrocystic breast disease
    -spend year w/baby ause will never have a chance to do that.

    CONS
    money, hubby is a social worker but plans going back to school to become a crna- will have to liv on loans
    – free time to do cool stuff. we live in NYC and are always hanging out. also can’t travel (but actually right now for the next 5 years won’t have the money, and have already been to tons of places)
    – will be a hundred times harder to study in med school, will have to just pass, which means letting go of the competitive specialties that offer good lifestyles
    – will be hard third year becasue by then baby will be 3 and emotionally attached. scared to psychologically damage for life. same goes for residency.

    sorry this is so long, but i would love feedback from people in similar situations.

    #26206
    su4n2su4n2
    Participant

    anyone? i would really appreciate some help. susan

    #26207
    CourtneyCourtney
    Participant

    Susan,

    I am a premed student currently thinking/worried about family(see my own post). I would like to be a doctor, but I’m not sure the way I want to raise my kids is compatible with having a career as a physician. I am only 20 years old so I wouldn’t be offended if you considered my reply a naive or uninformed one, but if I were you, I would ask myself, “How do I want to raise my kids?” And don’t forget, there is always the option to go back to school after your kids are a little older. I’m struggling with deciding to continue with premed and I’m not married yet(though I have found the one), so I can’t say I’m in the same boat as you. But good luck in everything you do. I hope everything works out for the best.

    Courtney

    #26208
    su4n2su4n2
    Participant

    Courtney,
    thanx for your reply, i definately won’t think you are naive because of your age. i am one of those people that have been 30 from the age of 16:). it;s not an option for me to wait till my kids are older due to money reasons and that i really have a passion for medicine. my struggle is not whether i should go to school, but when i should have a baby. i wish you luck, and if u have any questions, feel free to write

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