New pregnancy- full of worry- HELP!!

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  • #17544
    dktdkt
    Participant

    I am a 29 year old heme/onc fellow. I was recently diagnosed with polycystic ovary ealier this year after not having periods- After having a spontanous period- my husband and I tried to get pregnant- I took a serum pregnancy test 4 days after my period was late and it was negative- The next day, we had a big party and I drank way too much alcohol (like 6-7 drinks)- I also drank a few times after that- I took another prenancy test two weeks later and to my disbelief it was positive!!! I am happy but I have been fixated on that fact that my baby could be at seroius risk for defects- I spent 4 hours in the library looking up articles and statistics and it was all so negative – I drank way too much and the worst time possible (3 weeks after fertilization)- I have been so depressed instead of happy and my family keeps telling me it will be fine but they don’t have the medical knowlegde I do- I am looking for anyone who can help ease my mind before I go crazy!!!!!

    #17545
    glennvallyglennvally
    Participant

    Hi dkt,

    I think the more you learn about all the things that can go wrong, the more paranoid you get! So I have a non-medical perspective for you, this got me through two pregnancies without too much guilt over drinking coffee, eating twinkies, whatever!

    ALL of the generations before ours knew very little about pre-natal care, the effects of smoking, alcohol, pot, sleeping pills, you name it, on the fetus. Look around you at all the baby boomers…Many, many of their moms had cocktails at 5:00 EVERY single night of their pregnancy (along with unfiltered Lucky Strikes). Perhaps LOTS of cocktails at 5:00. Of course I am not saying that there aren’t a few baby-boomers running around with FAS, but it just seems to be so hit and miss and no one REALLY knows how much, how often, and so on. Relax, all you can do is take what comes and pray that you’ll have a perfectly healthy baby. Don’t torture yourself with worry and guilt, believe that what happens is what is *supposed* to happen, your life and your child’s life will turn out according to plan.

    I know that’s all easier said than done! Best of luck to you~

    Val

    #17546
    TexasRoseTexasRose
    Participant

    It’s my understanding that it is the chronic exposure to alcohol that causes the problems assoc. w/FAS. I learned that while working with children who suffer from it. I don’t know that it will reassure you, but most of these kids didn’t even live with their mothers because of the chronic alcoholism. I don’t think this profile fits you in any way!

    Tell your OB, he/she will probably be able to reassure you and put your mind at ease. It’s also possible that you are not even as far along as you think, since a missed period doesn’t mean you got pregnant exactly 2 weeks before that date. Both times I got pregnant it was “too late” in my cycle and my first pregnancy test with my twins was negative.

    If you can, try not to read too much about what can go wrong. I did the same thing with my twins and the anxiety alone was hard to handle and ultimately unnecessary.

    Congratulations and Good Luck!!! 😀
    Theresa

    #17547
    CynthiaCynthia
    Participant

    I understand your fear! When I was pregnant with my second child (I didn’t know it yet!) I had a terrible case of the flu (yes it really was the flu) and I took so many drugs It still makes me sick to think of it…..sleep aids, antihistamines, decongestants, you name it. When I discovered I was pregnant I couldn’t sleep wondering if my child would have health problems. When at 12 weeks I was told my child had died I beleived it was my fault. However 6 months later my daughter Rachel was born completely healthy and normal (today she is 7!). Our son, on the other hand, has a rare disorder and I didn’t take ANYTHING during his pregnancy! Go figure! Nothing is exact, especially medicine. Yes, it probably would have been better not to have had those drinks but that rare occasion is most likely NOT going to cause a problem for your baby. As a previous poster noted, it is the cronic drinking etc, that causes the most problems. CONGRATULATIONS!!! Enjoy these months…they pass so quickly! Best Wishes, Cynthia

    #17548
    CaLiGirL :)CaLiGirL:)
    Participant

    dkt,

    I’m going to try my best to ease your mind by sharing my experience with you…I just hope I succeed at doing so :p . I was a newly turned 18 y/o when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. I was approximately 6-8 wks pregnant when I discovered those 2 red lines on the pregnancy stick…

    Although I was young and knew fairly little about pregnancy, I was concerned at how my lifestyle was before and during the time I was unaware that I was pregnant. I lived a crazy life (my daughter helped me to find direction and to change for the better)…I partied everyday (no exageration) and consumed heavy alcohol (hard liquor), along with beer, etc on a daily basis. I smoked at the time approximately 15 cigarettes a day, and I was involved in a concert as a dancer so I did strenous physical activity during rehearsals for the majority of the 6 wks prior to when I found out about my pregnancy.

    Was I concerned? More than I can imagine…
    I quit smoking, drinking, and going out as soon as I found out. I didn’t recieve prenatal care until I was well into my 4th month of pregnancy b/c I was so uneducated with our health system. I waited for MediCal to go through, not knowing that there were other measures I could have taken to get immediate care.

    My daughter was born at 6lbs. 10oz. and healthier than ever. I did have complications throughout my pregnancy like pre-term labor and my daughter had IUGR. My doctor explained that it wasn’t my lifestyle prior to me finding that I was pregnant, but probably b/c I worked almost 70 hrs/wk up until the moment I went into early labor at 7 1/2 months to help with finances and to make it day by day. I didn’t eat properly, and my job wasn’t easy…it required lots of energy out of my pregnant body.

    I really don’t think you need to consume yourself with worry…chances are, your child will be born healthier than ever. Like the others suggested, talk to your doctor b/c your doctor knows best. I’m sure everything will be fine, and I congratulate you with your new (hard earned) pregnancy. Cherish it and be positive! 😉

    Annie

    #17549
    bjwarrenbjwarren
    Participant

    Along with what everyone has said, I will add my story to try and ese your mind. As a previous post stated, I believe it is chronic alcoholism that affects most FAS babies.
    Much like caligirl, I lived a “wild” life. I had just come out of an abusive relationship and went nuts for awhile. I was using drugs, illegal as well as prescription, drinking moderately (but almost daily), and I smoked a minimum of a pack a day. I found out that I was pregnant at 2 months. (I am extremely irregular, so going 6 months w/o a period is nothing for me.)
    Of course, I straightened up immediately, quit smoking 5 months into the pregnancy. That was the hardest, but nothing else immediately after finding out.
    She has brought the direction back into my life, along with caring for my grandmother before she died. I wouldn’t be here today if it was not for her. She is a healthy 5 month old. Birth weight was 8# 6 oz. Remarkably enough, she has never demonstrated ANY signs of anything at all wrong with her, much less due to my lifestyle.
    As I remember in a previous post, the scientific evidence is there, but it also seems very random also.
    Good luck to you and your baby! I know that you will still worry plenty, but try to relax and enjoy it! It does go extremely fast, no matter how it feels in the third trimester. 😉 It will all work out as it is meant to be in the end!

    #17550
    mommd2bmommd2b
    Participant

    To ease your mind a bit, I’ll add my story too. With my last pregnancy, I had absolutely NO idea that I might be pregnant. My husband and I were invited to several social events around that time where I consumed alcohol….I developed an infection and took antibiotics that were contraindicated in pregnancy…I drank coffee like it was water…you get the picture…

    When I discovered that I was pregnant (8 weeks), I was really worried. My youngest has turned out to be the healthiest and most robust of all of my children…I know it is hard not to worry….but I think that if we had done damage that early in pregnancy, that the baby likely would not have survived. Enjoy your pregnancy now…..because chances are, everything is just fine!

    Congratulations!!!

    Kris

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