Pregnant–baby due 1 week before residency commences!

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  • #25029
    DONOTDELETE ****DONOTDELETE**
    Participant

    Hello all:

    Well, I have recently stumbled upon this wonderful sight and find myself in need of advice. I am the mother of a 2 year old girl and recently found out that I am pregnant with my second child. I am happy about this, as this is a blessing. However, my due date is exactly 1 week before residencies are scheduled to begin. I honestly don’t know what to do. I am in the process of applying to residencies and have interviews set up. Should I even mention this in my interviews? If I don’t, how will the program I am selected to perceive it when they eventually find out–will they feel that I was not honest during my interview? I had my first child during medical school and looking back, it was not as stressful as I had anticipated. However, I feel this is a different ballgame and I am applying to OB-GYN. It is not financially feasable to defer my residency for 1 year. Once the match process is over, do you think it is crazy to approach my potential program and request to defer my entry to the residency program for 2 months? I am sorry if this message is rambled or incoherant, but I have a million thoughts running around in my head. Am I nuts for even thinking I can have a baby right before residency?! If anyone has any insight or advise I would be most indebted. Oh yes, I am part of a medical marriage and my husband will be beginning residency at the same time! We had already been planning on hiring a nanny to help with our 2 year old…

    Regards,

    Sue :confused:

    #25030
    psychpsych
    Participant

    Wow, this one is tough. Here is my first pass. I probably wouldn’t mention it if you want to go to your highest choice program no matter what. However, if you want to honestly know which programs are going to be more supportive of a mom in residency, I might risk it because you are more likely to get the real picture, and they are more likely to see you as a straight shooter. I think it would be a big hurt to a residency program to find out at the last minute that you wouldn’t be available the first two months. On the other hand, if you are going to a fairly competitive place, it seems likely that they would rather take a person who is going to be there the whole time than one who will be on maternity leave right off the bat, so I’d worry that they wouldn’t rank you highly. It’s too bad sitting out a year isn’t an option. You could save the money on the nanny and match to start with a one year old, without having to deal with the issue. Can I ask why that isn’t an option in your case? It just seems like starting internship late with a newborn is going to be really tough, especially in OB/Gyn.

    #25031
    DONOTDELETE ****DONOTDELETE**
    Participant

    Just a thought–how about bringing it up with a plan, like offer to take all of your vacation the first month. It may not be how long you wanted to take off, but it will show the programs that you are dedicated to your training.

    #25032
    DONOTDELETE ****DONOTDELETE**
    Participant

    Thank you psych and rydys for responding. I appreciate your taking the time to help me. Psych, we are REALLY financially strapped right now (not just school loans). This is why sitting out a year is not that strong of an option. RYDS, yours is also a good option to consider–vacation right off the bat, boy they’re gonna love me 😀 My husband and I have been discussing our options in detail–there doesn’t seem to be an easy answer (such is life…). I guess we have to do some soul searching and come to a decision soon. I have decided that (if) and when I interview, I probably won’t discuss the pregnancy. As with regards to the residency being supportive of a mom in residency, I have made it clear on my application that I am a mom (in personal statement, and “hobbies” sections). One option currently under discussion is the idea that my husband will sit out for a year while I start (his field is IM which requires 3 years as opposed to my 4 years of training, that way we will finish together). While this doesn’t aid the financial “crisis” we currently face, I guess it is a small sacrifice compared to the well being of our children.
    Psych, I seriously contemplated a career in psychiatry (was a psych major). I guess over time I felt I was more suited to do Ob-gyn.
    Thanks for your help.

    #25033
    eeh2004eeh2004
    Participant

    Hi there,

    I am a third-year med student who just found out that I am also pregnant, due June 24. I am applying to an accelerated residency program in Family Medicine, which means that I would skip my fourth year completely and start internship July 1, 2003. So we’re sort of in the same boat. We are also in a financial bind and know that the only way that we can effectively raise this baby is to have a second salary next year. My husband is a financial analyst with a significant grad school debt that it seems will never go away. My plan at this time is to NOT, under any circumstances, announce my pregnancy to the department or the residency programs that I am applying to during the interviews. I figure that we can work things out once I am accepted and contract signed (around the end of January). Maybe it’s not the most straightforward way to approach it, but you never know what the repercussions might be. I do have a great relationship with the program director of the residency that I’m most interested in and have asked about starting late for various unspecified reasons. It has happened in the past and it doesn’t sound like there will be a problem with it happening again. I will probably take off the first 6-8 weeks, do some research, then ease slowly into call and clinic work. Maybe you would be allowed to do the same as well. I do wish you the best of luck in applying to OB/Gyn residencies and with the pregnancy. This is an exciting time for you and your family! These things have a funny way of working themselves out in the end and I’m sure that it will happen for you.

    Erin, MS3

    #25034
    snssns
    Participant

    Erin,
    I graduated med school in 1997. I have never heard of an accelerated residency program. If you skip your 4th yr of med school, how do you get your M.D.? Does this make your residency any longer? Does your med school and your program have to agree with this plan for you to do it? Are many schools offering it?

    Just curious. I am learning all kinds of things from MomMD. I saw on another post that you can combine your undergrad with med school. Hadn’t heard of that before either.

    #25035
    psychpsych
    Participant

    You are so right that there are no easy answers. How great that your husband is willing to consider sitting out a year. Whether or not he does, I think it bodes well for your family that he’s willing! Are you probably going to move for residency? I wondered whether if he sat out he’d be able to get a research job or something when your baby is a little older so he could bring in some money but still have predictable hours and flexibility, and while adding to his resume? Other low-time high-flexibility options for med school grads include MCAT tutoring ie for Kaplan, but I think the research option is probably nicer and more profitable if you can find relatively inexpensive childcare, which would depend mostly on where you end up geographically. Please keep us posted.

    #25036
    psychpsych
    Participant

    PS, Congratulations Erin!!!

    #25037
    eeh2004eeh2004
    Participant

    Sorry to sit out a day or two…been painting, sleeping, and eating a lot! Anyhow, about the accelerated residency. My med school is one of just a few in the country that has it, but not for long (will be phased out next year). I think some programs in South Carolina still have accelerated programs, usually in Family Medicine. I’m applying to the program now, at the beginning of my third year, and will have to select one of the three Family Medicine residencies here at ETSU. Not a problem, since I think that the training is excellent! 🙂 🙂 There are 8 spaces available. Applicants have to be within the top half of the class academically and have a demonstrated interest in Family Medicine; we go through the interview process and a modified “match” in January. I will be considered a first-year resident just as any other with a few restrictions. I’ll get a regular salary and benefits but still have to pay fourth-year tuition, and will graduate “officially” with the rest of my class. Most of our fourth year is elective; the few required rotations will be “covered” during the intern year. I’m excited, but worried now that there is a baby in the picture, but I’ve tried to put those concerns into someone else’s hands up above. Things always turn out the way that they’re supposed to! 😀 Thanks to all for the congratulations and words of encouragement. Good luck to all who are applying to residencies right now! It’s such a thrilling but nerve-wracking time!

    I think I need to go eat again…

    #25038
    snssns
    Participant

    The accelerated residency sounds really interesting. Great way to encourage students early on to go into family practice. I guess while you are a 4th yr/intern, your resident will have to sign all of your orders in the chart.

    Well, good luck to Sue and Erin.

    #25039
    DONOTDELETE ****DONOTDELETE**
    Participant

    Thanks psych for your heartfelt advice. Erin,congrats!!! We are soul sisters–mine is also due on the 24th of June!!! It is an exciting time (albeit stressful). I agree with your decision not to mention your pregnancy during your interviews. Somehow, I just don’t see program directors being very welcoming to this (given that the due date is so close to the start of residency). I beleive things have a funny way of working themselves out, let’s pray for the best.

    Family practice is exciting, and certainly very “family” friendly. I wish you the best of luck with everything.

    I just ate…but need to go barf again 🙁

    #25040
    eeh2004eeh2004
    Participant

    How about those June babies! 🙂 Actually the pregnancy is giving us a big scare (I posted the whole story in Family & Parenting in a thread started by elisemomof3). On the positive side, I am now nauseated every day and though I don’t enjoy it, at least I know that hopefully everything is OK. Just got the residency application done today and will turn it in on Monday. Good luck with the pregnancy, my friend, and let me know if you have any problems or just need to vent.

    Erin, MS3

    #25041
    DONOTDELETE ****DONOTDELETE**
    Participant

    Please, Please, Please consider you or your husband sitting out for one year. As you know from your other child, infancy is soooo fleeting and you will NEVER get that time back. You will always be able to make money. I had our first child during my intern year (after 11 years of marriage, negative infertility work up and failed IVF…I just conceived!!! What a blessing!) My husband was able to telecommute and kept out precious daughter but I still mourn for all that I missed. Are there other ways you could cut expenses?? Get by with one car? Keep another infant in your home? Unfortunately, you should be candid with the program. As an intern, the entire progran will be affected: rotations, call schedules so really, out of consideration for others, I don’t think it would be a good idea to “spring” this on them after the match. Programs are not allowed to as about pregnancy, however, and I wonder if FMLA applies to medical residencies. Could you share a residency position? Believe me, you will be so much more tired as an intern that you ever were and a medical student. I am sure your two year old would appreciate the time with mom or dad too. IM residencies are less competative as well. Bottom line…try to relax and to put the sense of urgency that you feel to finish aside. It is just a job, after all.

    #25042
    sd512sd512
    Participant

    Originally posted by :
    Please, Please, Please consider you or your husband sitting out for one year. As you know from your other child, infancy is soooo fleeting and you will NEVER get that time back. You will always be able to make money. I had our first child during my intern year (after 11 years of marriage, negative infertility work up and failed IVF…I just conceived!!! What a blessing!) My husband was able to telecommute and kept out precious daughter but I still mourn for all that I missed. Are there other ways you could cut expenses?? Get by with one car? Keep another infant in your home? Unfortunately, you should be candid with the program. As an intern, the entire progran will be affected: rotations, call schedules so really, out of consideration for others, I don’t think it would be a good idea to “spring” this on them after the match. Programs are not allowed to as about pregnancy, however, and I wonder if FMLA applies to medical residencies. Could you share a residency position? Believe me, you will be so much more tired as an intern that you ever were and a medical student. I am sure your two year old would appreciate the time with mom or dad too. IM residencies are less competative as well. Bottom line…try to relax and to put the sense of urgency that you feel to finish aside. It is just a job, after all.

    #25043
    snssns
    Participant

    Sue and Erin,
    Any updates? How did interviews go? The Match is almost here!

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