screaming toddler

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  • #78281
    rockfeverrockfever
    Participant

    Today, i swear i was going to have a nervous breakdown. my toddler screamed from the time i picked him up from the sitters for 1.5 hours. he quietened down from time to time but basically it was a bout 1.5 hours. 30 mins was in the car :tired: . he wanted to hear his elmo cd then when i turned it on he said no elmo so i turned it off and it went on lik ethat. he threw his stuffed animal and then was upset when i coudlnt’ get it ( I was driving in traffic). this continued when i got home. he had a list of thinsg he wanted and most of them were contradictory elmo- no elmo, bye bye, up, down, eat, no eat. no crying and whining i can stand better than screaming. i was at my wits end to the point where i dind’t know what to do so i put him in his room so that we both could calm down. i wanted to scream myself. my husband was at the gym so i called my mom who wnated to talk to my son. how? he was screaming? then she told me to hold him and i really needed to get my wits about me before i confronted the screaming again. my son finally clamed down and i felt better so i did go in to him and he was a bti calmer. he decide dhe wnated something to eat. so we both got something to eat and he was good as gold after that.
    how can i address the screaming without becoming so agitated. i really had to reagin my temper in i wanted to scream and yell or worse myself but thank good self control and good sense were there. but how on earth should this be handled?
    afterwards i was so emotionally drained. luckily hubby came home and i took a nap.
    my husband said that my son has done this to him once before. he didn’t know what to do either. any advice?

    #78282
    PremedRNPremedRN
    Participant

    Could he have not taken a nap, and was overtired? My little one seems to do this from time to time when he is tired. I think you handled it well. You put him in his room, allowed him and you to calm down, things got better. I know that breaking point like you could ram your head through the wall! In fact, my son was testing me tonight crying and stuff. It is because he is tired and grumpy. Drove me nutts, I did yell at him. I need to not let him get to me like that. I need to have more self-control. Anyway, I wouldnt change a thing about how you handled him!

    #78283
    MTaylorMTaylor
    Participant

    I think you did a wonderful job with your son.

    When my little one starts screaming like that…I first try to figure out what she wants (like you did). I give her the benefit of the doubt, thinking something may be wrong with her…like hunger, or a headache. Sometimes I’ll even give her baby Tylenol (just in case). I’ll hold her and rub her…cuz I’d feel just awful if I disciplined her, and it turned out she had something really wrong going on. But….

    …there comes a time when I determine she’s just being a crazy baby…and I put her to bed (for 5 minutes, or until she’s quiet).

    She’s had a couple of spankings in the past as it relates to “being quiet.” So now, when I say (after all the above methods fail) “QUIET!!” She’s quiet…that simple. But…it took 2 or 3 spankings in the past to get her to this point. Now, in the grocery store, I’m not one of those mommies who kneel to the ground trying to console their out of control yelling toddler, begging “little Johnny” to be nice to mommie.

    #78284
    sisriversisriver
    Participant

    When my kids were in daycare they often ‘broke down’ afterward – it was a long day of following rules and waiting for a turn and when Mom picked them up they could finally let out their emotions. It was so hard to handle… Brazelton suggests sitting in a big rocking chair and cuddling when the working family arrives home.

    #78285
    rockfeverrockfever
    Participant

    at first i tried to cuddle him and he resisted. he is so active anyway. he wanted to throw a tantrum which he can’t do up in my arms. but once he calmed down, i layed down on the couch exhausted and put on an elmo tape for him (this was after we had eaten). he climbed on the couch with me and i cuddled him. he enjoyed that!

    #78287
    sisriversisriver
    Participant

    Yes, I think they do receive security knowing they can break down and throw an awful tantrum with mom (can’t do that at school) and she will stand by them and comfort afterward.

    #78288
    residentmomresidentmom
    Participant

    If after you have determined that all is well, John Rosemond has a suggestion that I think is great. You give them a “screaming place”. Pick a room, he reccs. the bathroom, and tell them that from now on they are welcome to go in there whenever they feel the need to scream. Then the next time he screams, you say “oh, what nice screaming, but you need to do it in the screaming place”… and take him there. Eventually the novelty of riling mommy is lost because now it is all fine and there is even a place for it. I have not had the opportunity to need this yet (thankfully!) but it sounds reasonable. That way everyone is calmer. Rosemond has a good book called “MAking the Terrible Twos Terrific” with lots of interesting and creative advice. Some people think he is too tough with children, but it is really more of a back-to-basics approach. And you can always ignore what you don’t agree with!

    #78289
    DO HopefulDO Hopeful
    Participant

    For my older child (now 4y.o.) I realized that she threw her tantrums when she was either tired or hungry – just as others above have also said. It sounds like the situation you described could have been that he was “breaking down” (like sisriver said), or maybe he was hungry. My 18 m.o. is not as patient as her older sister – she has to have food NOW if she is really hungry, and she’ll let me know it too. 😡 In fact, I just started putting my girls in day care and I had forgotten to find out how long it had been since they had a snack/meal when I picked them up a few days ago. As soon as I buckled them up and got on the road, they got irate and whiny. My little one was kicking and yelling. At first I wasn’t going to give them anything to eat because I didn’t want to spoil their dinner and we live so close to the day care. But I gave in and gave them something I had in the diaper bag – it was worth it if it meant having a quiet ride home. :tired: Ironically, being a mom has forced me to become more patient, otherwise I’d probably be yelling and spanking my kids all the time! It’s especially emotionally draining because I am always wondering if I did the right thing – or I’m kicking myself because I know I could have done better. You handled yourself really well in your situation 🙂 Take in as much advice as you can and be prepared to try some of the suggestions, because, I hate to say it, this is not the last crying/screaming situation you will have! Believe me, I know . . . It’s best to expect that it will happen again – but this time you’ll be prepared 🙂

    Good Luck!

    #78290
    DO HopefulDO Hopeful
    Participant

    Also, maybe he didn’t get a nap in while he was at the sitters. He could have been overtired, overstimulated, and hungry . . . the dreaded “triple threat” 🙁

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