Single Moms?

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  • #44096
    alexandra0331alexandra0331
    Participant

    Hello everyone? I wanted to know are there any young single moms here? (not just restricted to moms as young as me) I am 23 yrs old with a 5 yr old daughter and on my way to med school in July (I deferred for 1 year)and I was wondering if there was anyone in a similar situation? I feel like an outkast but I know somewhere out there there must me more non-traditional students such as myself. How do you find time for your child as well as excell in medical school. I have created a great balance all throughout undergraduate school but I am a little afraid of the changes I will face. Any suggestions or advice? :confused:

    #44097
    reesie0726reesie0726
    Participant

    Hi, Alexandra. I am also a single mom in med school. I am a second year now and gave birth to my daughter a couple of days b4 class started this year. It is true that there are not many of us single moms in med school and it is definitely more challenging. However, it is doable. Many of my classmates have been very supportive. It is important to establish a support system at your school. Will you have family near by? I think the key to doing well is not procrastinating and being organized. Sharisse

    #44098
    reesie0726reesie0726
    Participant

    I can’t believe there are no other single moms out there. Anyway, listen to this story for inspiration. A girl graduated from my med school 2 years ago, single mom of five children. If she can do it, I thinkthat anybody can do it.

    #44099
    LaramisaLaramisa
    Participant

    I’m a single mom – but I’m not young and I’m not in medical school now. 🙂

    #44100
    cdndr2bcdndr2b
    Participant

    I became a single Mom almost a year ago and started med school in Aug. when my daughter was 6 months old. I agree that being organized is the key to success and do not be too hard on yourself either. Make some time for you little one everyday, and then study everyday (I do it when she’s gone to bed). I know money is always tight, but I hired some one to clean my house. They just do the big stuff, but in the overall picture spending some money on the “time savers” allows you more peace of mind – and that leads to better grades. Good luck :grouphug:

    #44101
    shauna ,MS,MomMD2Bshauna,MS,MomMD2B
    Participant

    Originally posted by alexandra0331:
    How do you find time for your child as well as excell in medical school. I have created a great balance all throughout undergraduate school …

    Hi Alexandra0331,

    Can you please enlighten me on how to create a great balance between kids and school?

    I’m a med student with two stepdaughters that don’t live with us full time (I’m not a single Mom, so forgive me for posting here, but I REALLY want to hear your advice). We are planning to have kids while in med school, but I have the same concerns as you. HOW DO I MAKE THE TIME FOR IT ALL? Please tell me how you did it in college. What was your schedule like?

    In fact, I would welcome ANYONE’S opinion who has had success in this area.

    Thanks; God Bless!

    Shauna

    #44102
    cdndr2bcdndr2b
    Participant

    The balance is precarious. You need to schedule time, and abide by it. I get home from school and don’t even open my bag until after my daughter goes to bed. I have one afternoon when I don’t have classes and I DO NOT STUDY that day. You also must be prepared to accept your limitations. I will never be a straight A med student :confused: :wave:

    #44103
    shauna ,MS,MomMD2Bshauna,MS,MomMD2B
    Participant

    Thanks for the excellent advice cdndr2b! I know it will be very useful to me when I’m blessed with a little one. 🙂

    Shauna

    #44104
    PremedRNPremedRN
    Participant

    Wow, all you guys, and what you have put in your posts have inspired me! I am married and raising 6 kids. BTW, I was once a single-mom too, at age 18.
    Im not in med school yet (but Shauna’s trying to get me there ! :wave: ) I will be applying after MCATs next year. :tired: ) and everyone has eaten. I study late evening when the kids are trying to wind down, into late at night, and sometimes through to the wee hours of the morning if need be. I just get through that day tired, rest afterwards, and deal with it. Nothing comes easy, but with or without kids, everyone will agree to that.
    Speaking from my own experience as a former single-mom working and going to school and now married with 6 (they youngest being 3 & 4) working and going to school….I think Shauna, for you, what may be challenging, is not realizing at first, how time consuming it is to get kids ready to be dropped off in the morning, who’s gonna pick them up…I think getting into the swing of things like that may be one of the most challenging things, but once you get used to it, it becomes second nature. You learn to appreciate those breaks of not having to drop kids off anywhere. I cant study in the mornings when my kids have to go to the sitters eventhough my classes dont start until 11:30, and on somedays 1pm. All that time is spent feeding the kids, chasing them around to get dressed and all that fun stuff….that is how I came to be an evening/night studier..okay, enough of my babbling!

    #44105
    2Himweowe2Himweowe
    Participant

    Hi all!

    Just wondering how you single mothers are handling residency?

    With the uncertainity of schedule what are you doing for child care?

    #44106
    LaramisaLaramisa
    Participant

    Once I pick up my daughter from school I don’t study or work until she goes to bed. I used to try to read/study after this, but I am too tired to be efficient, so I have started going to bed when she does and then I get up very early and do my studying then before she wakes up.
    Right now I am experimenting with having a babysitter come early to help her get off to school so I can get to work earlier and finish earlier at night. Also – what everyone said about being ultra organized. I also take advantage of online shopping & delivery.

    #44107
    2Himweowe2Himweowe
    Participant

    Hello how old is your little one?

    Is your babysitter reliable? How is that working out for you?

    #44108
    LaramisaLaramisa
    Participant

    My daughter is 7 years old. The babysitter is so far super. She also does some light housekeeping and straightening – she volunteered to do this without my asking. So I am able to cut back on my regular (very expensive) housecleaner. She is also making supper for my daughter (and me sometimes) (and the associated grocery shopping). She is working about 15-20 hours per week. I made a deal with her such that though I cannot afford to pay so much per hour as she has received in her last job I will guarantee her a certain number of hours a month so that she has a regular income.

    #44109
    reesie0726reesie0726
    Participant

    I am glad to see there are some other single moms out there in med school. I think that I want to use that ideal about a housekeeper coming in occasionally because it is really hard for me to do the big things too. I am debating on what I will do about child care next year. One of my classmates has a daughter my age and his wife is a teacher so I will do my surgery rotation in the summer so they can help watch my daughter. I would like to get a nanny but I dont know about the cost. Sharisse

    #44110
    cdndr2bcdndr2b
    Participant

    I am not sure how it works down there (I M assuming US) but up here (Canada) we get a few things to help with covering the costs of a nanny:

    1. Student line of credit at prime. I am not going to worry about how much I spend on getting good child care b/c this is not an area to save money on. Cheaper is CHEAPER service, that means worse.
    2. The human resource department allows you to hire people from other countries and bring them over for jobs where there is more demand than can be met by the current population. A friend just got a nanny (live in) from pakistan. She speaks clear, fluent english and was brought over through a firm, they pay her $1100/month and that includes some cleaning and cooking. That puts the price about 3-5 hundred more than a daycare.

    I am not going to think twice about hiring a live in or out nanny when I start clerkship next year. I really do not think that this is an area to save on, buy used books (the average life of medical knowledge is 5 years, it will all change when you get to practice). Spend less on cloths, downgrade to a car without a payment, but don’t skimp on child care.

    Another option is to look at sharing a place with another parent and split the cost of a nanny, one of the parents in second year did this and it was cheaper for a few reasons: it is cheaper perperson to rent bigger, and the nanny was only paid half by each parent. I suppose you could also just share the nanny at one house or another.

    If you are a single Mom contact the local agencies that usually help you out. Perhaps you can hire another single Mom to come to your house and allow her to bring her child, though this might take more interviewing and screening. It is also one way to help another single parent since it can be difficult to get a job, etc when you are a single parent.

    I am really not sure if any of this advice is applicable, but sometimes the ideas help get other ideas flowing. Good luck with child care – the issue will not go away, even for married couples.

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