October 29, 2003 at 1:23 am #65759
Sadly I am struggling with yet another “development issue”. In early Oct. my daughter and I went on a trip to visit her grandparents in another state, then immediately upon returning she received her one year shots (Prevnar, Chickenpox, flu and MMR), started weaning from the bottle, 10 days later developed a fever and rash (probably a virus, who knows-pediatrician wasn’t sure…but nothing bad anyway) and most recently is SO fussy that I am at my wits end. Oh yeah, she’s also teething intermittantly. Because of the latest string of “events” she has been at home or picked up early from daycare a LOT lately.
My real bottom-line problem is that my normally very happy go-lucky, even-tempered daughter has turned into a monster! She screams if you take anything away from her. She screams if you won’t pick her up or look like you are going to walk away from her. She screams if her favorite daycare teacher leaves the room or tries to put her down on the mats to play with the other kids. (However she is fine if you hold her…) I think this is likely just normal toddler behavior, a little separation anxiety with a healthy dose of boundary-pushing thrown in. I don’t think that there is any physical reason for her latest “tantrums” (this doesn’t seem related to the teeth), but I am at a complete loss on how to DEAL with them! Last night when I finally decided that this was behavioral and I wasn’t going to buy into it, I walked away and started reading one of her books (very quietly to myself) and she immediately stopped screaming, walked over to me and sat down to turn the pages (blissfully, quietly). Problem is, I get worried about her at daycare…I know how hard it is to deal with a child who has started throwing tantrums because I was overjoyed on Monday when I dropped her off and I could have a break (I can’t believe I’m admitting this but there it is…).
Anyone have any tips or words of wisdom…?October 29, 2003 at 4:55 am #65761Med4MomParticipant
Welcome to motherhood with a toddler 😀 . I think you did GREAT to walk away and start reading one of her books, luring her into quietness and calm. Good job! She has had a pretty trying month, and she is probably coping the only way she knows how right now. You are right to approach her behavior calmly though. I know exactly how you feel about being relieved when you drop her off at daycare – I feel the same way some days. Hey, I figure, those workers are trained in effective handling of children’s tantrums – they can handle it. And the distraction of daycare is probably good for her temperament too, getting her interested in things other than just feeling miserable all day.
Good luck, Mimi 😮October 29, 2003 at 6:01 am #65762LisaFPParticipant
My mom gave me one piece of advice that I still go by (the only advice I ever followed!). She said, “Never give in to a tantrum.” Never, ever, ever, give in. Even once and she’ll try 25 more times. I’ve hauled screaming children out of stores and from play dates. Once my oldest daughter who was then 2 cried and screamed in the hall for 25 minutes because she wanted a drink from a different cup. Oh, I still remember that one…
I think you were right to ignore it and act calmly. Good luck, some children do this much more than others! Just remember, never give in!November 3, 2003 at 9:51 pm #65764sisriverParticipant
While in most cases I think the tantrums should be ignored, there are times when the children just seem to need some holding…November 3, 2003 at 10:09 pm #65765
A little update on this one…my daughter was doing a little better at daycare (slightly less tantrum throwing) after I talked to her providers and we decided not to reward these- by not giving into whatever she wanted. However, she continued to cough and sleep poorly at night concerning me that maybe she was “overtired” and that maybe the lack of good sleep was contributing to this new behavior. After finally finding the brand of cough syrup that worked for her, therefore giving her a full night sleep…she had a much better day at school the next day, only 2 tantrums, both clearly because she did not want to do something she was being asked to do, but according to her providers, both tantrums were over very quickly and within minutes she forgot about it and went to play with the other kids like she usually does. Late friday afternoon I got the dreaded daycare phone call (your daughter’s temp is 102…please come and pick her up). Saturday we ventured back to the pediatrician’s and she ended up having a mild case of pneumonia. It only took her 2 days of antibiotics to start acting like her old lovable self again. Well, I guess I got an early start in dealing with tantrums, and I am definately more prepared for when they start again for purely behavioral reasons (and I’m sure they will…) but I was even happier to find the “magic syrup”!November 4, 2003 at 12:11 am #65767Doc201XParticipant
I rememebr having to FREQUENTLY put MYSELF in “timeout” after my daughter’s tantrum’s :rotfl:November 4, 2003 at 12:36 am #65769
That is exactly what I would do pathdr2b, I would pick her up from daycare and be so rattled by the time my hubby got home, that I would hand her to him and go running to a quiet place so that I could calm down! Who knew, even so young they can push every button!November 4, 2003 at 5:34 am #65771shellbellParticipant
You are not alone, oh does this sound so like my son, 17 months. All he has been doing is fussing and screaming and throwing himself on the floor. :scratchchin:
Anyway we are somewhat having better days. My son is our 3rd and we thought we knew everything.
One of the reasons he was fussy is due to sinus infection, and teething.
He rarely goes to my hubby. If I am in the room he wants me. Oh funny thing, this evening he shut his finger in the drawer,(this not funny) :no: and my hubby told him, that is why we do not play with the drawer. He ran over to me and wanted some love. That justs melts me. :cloud9:
MichelleNovember 4, 2003 at 6:46 am #65772Doc201XParticipant
Originally posted by shellbell:
I even went to the extreme and threw myself down during one of his tantrums. Boy did he get quiet and look surprised.
This brings back memories…no wait a minute, I actually still do this occasionally :rotfl: My daughter is going to think I was “psycho” when she grows up :laughing:November 4, 2003 at 1:22 pm #65774LaramisaParticipant
I put myself in timeout all the time when my daughter’s behavior gets out of control & unreasonable (often when she’s overtired after daycare). It keeps me from losing my temper with her and usually she calms down in about 5 minutes and comes to find me to apologize. (Last night for example when I refused to take her to McDonalds for dinner)
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