“well I could NEVER do that”

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  • #33416
    TexasRoseTexasRose
    Participant

    “well I could never do that .”
    Grr… Anybody else get that response when someone asks you what you are doing/going to school for? I’m a mom of 3 school-age kids. Every time someone asks me what I’m interviewing for or why I went back to school and I answer, “medical school,” they look at me like I’m some kind of alien. Then they tell me why they could never do what I want to do. How they can’t even imagine having a job… hate school… etc. I know I live in the suburbs, but geez!

    I get tired of feeling like the lone zebra in a herd of horses! :laughing:

    When I start med school, I hope not to feel quite so out of place. But then, I’ll be in my mid 30’s and a mom, so I’ll still be the zebra! :rolleyes:

    I know you guys can relate. Next time somebody asks what I’m doing these days I should just say, “shopping!”
    😉
    Theresa

    #33417
    ReneeRenee
    Participant

    Not quite the same, but similar.

    After I had my first child, I was home on leave for 4 months and participated in a neighborhood playgroup…mainly just to be around other Moms as the baby certainly wasn’t playing.

    One Mom found out I was planning to return to work fulltime. You could see the non-approval in her face. Not more than an hour later, she brought the conversation around to children being watched by others and said, “I could never leave my child with someone else”.

    I think some people just don’t realize they’re speaking with a lack of tact or empathy when they say comments like this. Either that or she was being deliberately vicious :rolleyes:

    #33418
    residentmomresidentmom
    Participant

    Whenever people say things like that to me, I always think, “No, YOU probably couldn’t do it.” :rolleyes:

    Instead of feeling put down, you should respond like they have given you a compliment. ie: Yes, it will be hard work to both work and be a mom, and it is not for everyone, and I am so pleased that I am capable of being a good mom while pursuing my dreams as well. 😉

    #33419
    laleelalee
    Participant

    Well, the next time someone says to you “I could never do that”, just respond “well, not everyone can be so lucky to have what it takes…too bad for you!” And smile ear to ear and walk away! :p :rotfl:
    That oughta drop their chins!

    #33420
    amykamyk
    Participant

    Well, they don’t have to do it, which is fortunate all around.

    It’s not your fault they’re not interested (or maybe see your answer as a put-down of some kind). Not their fault you’re playing square peg, either.

    I get that kind of thing from very focused professionals on ready-made tracks, btw. What I’m doing takes a fair amount of explaining. Unless I think they’re sincerely interested and have a little time, I just deflect the “what do you do” question.

    amy

    #33421
    maggie52maggie52
    Participant

    TheresaW: They are just jealous and feeling bad about themselves ( no joke)…and for the rest of your life plan on nonMD females treating you that way no matter how down to earth you can be…

    #33422
    MelissaGrayMelissaGray
    Participant

    Originally posted by TheresaW:
    [b]
    I get tired of feeling like the lone zebra in a herd of horses! :laughing:

    When I start med school, I hope not to feel quite so out of place. But then, I’ll be in my mid 30’s and a mom, so I’ll still be the zebra! :rolleyes:

    [/b]

    You are a zebra, but you’ll feel less of one with your future med school classmates than with the people who see what you’re doing as insurmountable. 😀

    #33423
    sisriversisriver
    Participant

    [for the rest of your life plan on nonMD females treating you that way no matter how down to earth you can be… ] Maybe that’s how it is with many moms, at least the ones I meet on the school playground. I also had a similar experience as Renee with a playgroup during my maternity leave, except they weren’t openly disapproving, but more polite about it in a way that broke my heart …

    #33424
    TexasRoseTexasRose
    Participant

    You know what’s funny? The gal who prompted this post for me, the one who “couldn’t imagine even working at all,” just told me she’s starting a business from her home! Maybe all my ambition was a good influence! :rotfl:

    Theresa

    #33425
    CynthiaCynthia
    Participant

    Originally posted by maggie52:
    TheresaW: They are just jealous and feeling bad about themselves ( no joke)…

    I must dissagree with this statement!!! Most SAHM’s AREN’T jealous and DON’T feel bad about themselves!!! It is a personal choice either to work, or to stay home and each has chosen what they feel is the BEST for themselves and their families. I DO think, though, that sometimes it is difficult to understand the other side of the fence….after all if “this” is what is best for MY family, surely it must be best for yours?
    :boggled:

    #33426
    amykamyk
    Participant

    Yeah, I also disagree. Sounds more to me like the usual dumb group-dynamic thing — you know, “I’m a part of the SAHM group. Makes me feel warm/fuzzy to affirm my group’s goodness by pointing out how bad other groups are.”

    Dumb, dumb, dumb.

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