what a wonderful thing is the end of a string

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    The term is going pretty well. I’m loving my classes. It’s likely because there are fewer of them… but also because I’m done with all the weird prereqs that I didn’t want to take anyway. Now I have my senior classes, which are great (makes sense, seeing as I picked this major), and a few science classes. And some electives. I have thesis credits I’m taking, and that’s going pretty well.

    We’re starting a new study next week, and I spent all day today trying to work out some of the details for it. So many details, but I’m enjoying that, too. I researched ideal cutting speeds and cutting instruments for bone to minimize heat-related damage. The literature is all over the place on that. I finally called the dentist I used to work for and asked for some advice. It was a little awkward, because I hadn’t talked to him in awhile, I was trying to rush because he was fitting the call in with a patient in the chair numbing up, and I was on a cell phone that was cutting out. Very frustrating. He was very helpful, though. I do miss working there sometimes. I enjoyed it, but it’s just not what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.

    I’m working on secondary applications. I’m still a little torn on my application choices. I applied primarily DO, because I think that OMM is valuable. Unfortunately, I’m already getting anti-DO sentiments. My boss actually told me that she thought it was a terrible idea to apply to osteopathic schools. She told me to just go to an MD school and take CE credits in musculoskeletal techniques later. I guess I could have done that, but I think the education is comparable, and thus I should not be bullied by people (as her main argument was that I’d be discriminated against). Meh. If I actually thought the education was second-rate, there’s no way I’d do it. I’m comforted to know that many DO students take the USMLE and do perfectly well on it, and I intend to do that as well to keep my options open. I’ll hold onto that while trying not to be hyper-sensitive when people state that I’ll be getting an inferior education. Chances are I will be going DO, but sometimes I feel like adding a couple of last-minute MD options to my application. Shouldn’t I know what I want by now??? :crazy:

    In other news, my lawn is completely gone, and in its place is a sea of leaves. I actually do not like fall. Or winter. This is a gloomy area to live in if you don’t love rain. I tolerate it, but I don’t love it. Our rain started a week or two ago, and I know that it will continue until April, maybe May. It’s just depressing.

    Also, I have decided that if the field of medicine were completely gone, I would most definitely be a chef. I just watched “Julie & Julia” last night, and I can so totally relate to people who love good food. It makes me want to go to France. But alas, there will not be money for that for a long, long time.

    I will make some apple pies this weekend, though! It’s apple season, and they are everywhere, including covering half the surfaces in my kitchen. Something has got to be done. I think apple pie, pumpkin pie, scones, and pumpkin bread for the weekend. Then I’ll drop off goodies for unsuspecting friends. I love it. 😀

    I wish it were easier to mail food. I would send everyone goodies.


    So somehow I spent the last two weekends slacking off and now I’m paying for it. Today I had an essay for a class due, an exam, and a secondary application due (which included multiple essays). I hope by “due 11/16” it means by midnight or something, and not by 5 p.m., or 7 a.m. Yikes.

    I wrote the essays and I emailed them to my sister to proofread for me. She called to complain about a friend, rattled on for half an hour, then said she’d call back after she read the essays. :/ My sister.

    In other news, I signed up for a half-marathon. A friend was doing it, and it seemed like a good way to get in shape. I regret that decision almost daily. I cannot run far enough yet, and I’m not entirely sure I will be able to in time. I guess we’ll find out!

    So school is going okay, and I’m still filling out secondaries. I have my first interview scheduled, and found out my school only sent in some of my letters of recommendation – the one they left out, of course, was the letter from a doctor I shadowed. Of course. I’m certainly glad I was specific in asking them what was wrong and communicated this to my school before telling the lady at the medical school that she was just overlooking it somehow! 😀 That could have been bad.

    I hate writing essays. I will never be a writer. I don’t like writing. This blog doesn’t count, because this is rambling and does not need to be coherent.

    I am a little sad that I applied so late. I think I will still get in somewhere (because maybe I am overconfident), but I just want to be done, and to know, and to have a plan.

    I’m also finally learning about fat synthesis and beta-oxidation. I never learned them in biochem – it didn’t make sense, and I didn’t apply the amount of time necessary to sort it out. Hence the C in biochem. Now I have to repeat the same material (with some tie-ins to diet) for my nutrition classes, and I’m doing it! It’s really not that bad. The names are still confusing, and the questions are confusing, but I’m getting it.

    Finally, on the last note, I do not feel well. 🙁 My husband made dinner last night. It was a very spicy Thai curry with chili peppers and lemongrass. It was too spicy for me to eat, but he doesn’t cook much, so I ate it anyway. I can’t tell if I’m still suffering from that or I’m getting sick, but my throat hurts and my stomach hurts. Sad me. I am such a wimp with hot food.


    So excited!!!

    My first interview is Friday. I’m finishing up my last secondary, then I’ll pack up! It’s a long flight – including 2 time zone changes – but this is the farthest I’ll be going.

    Oh, this is so good! Trying not to think of the things that could go wrong, and just be excited! 🙂 😮


    I’m poking around the house this week. It’s sinking in that this is my last chance to have free time for quite awhile. I usually work anytime I have time off of school, but I’m just sitting at home now. I did a bunch of laundry (very necessary after two trips), watched TV with my husband… didn’t even make dinner, because my neighbor unexpectedly brought dinner over! I’m having a pretty fabulous day. Yesterday I did some work from home, but today I didn’t even do that.

    I’m also mulling over decisions. I’ve been to two interviews, and I have two more this month. I absolutely loved one of the schools, and they accepted me. Awesome. I didn’t care for the other school. I won’t hear back for another week or so, but it doesn’t matter much, because I don’t think I’ll be going there. I am so tempted to just ditch my last two interviews, but I may love one of them too!

    A complicating factor (always) is my husband. He’s in school as well, and was offered a funded PhD position at the school here. Unfortunately, there’s only one medical school that is even within a two-hour drive, and I haven’t heard back from them yet. Both of the schools I interview with this month are closer to home, which is nice, but I really really love the first school.

    Complication number two is the deposit. I have to accept the seat and pay a deposit soon – as in, before I’ve done both interviews. I don’t like that system at all! I’m thinking of calling and asking for an extension, but I don’t want the school to think that I don’t like them… it’s definitely my first choice at this point, but I would hate to make a decision without seeing all the options.

    I’m going to go back to relaxing and worry about this later.


    Okay, fairly quick resolution on this one.

    My husband decided he is not going to go to grad school this year. I’m not incredibly surprised. He hasn’t taken the GRE yet and the application to the school that offered him the position is due in 2 weeks.

    I’m almost disappointed, because it is such a great opportunity for him. On the other hand, he could get another great opportunity, and he’s not entirely sure what he wants to go into. It does free up my decisions, though. Again, I’m not surprised. If he were really excited about it he would have taken the GRE. He’s really good at the field he’s doing his student research in, and his boss really wants to hold onto him. It’s nice to find something you’re good at, but if he doesn’t resolve what he wants to do now, he’ll just have a breakdown in 10 years. Shoot, he’ll probably do that anyway.

    I sent an email to the school that accepted me, explaining that they are my #1 choice, but I’d really like to see the others before submitting my paperwork to know that I made the most informed decision possible. Ultimately I asked for a deposit deadline extension. I don’t know what will happen, but I’d certainly be happy there, so I’m not too worried about it. If they say no, I’ll just give them my money and assume I’ll be there unless another school is so cool I’d lose lots of money for it.

    I am so close to knowing where I’m going to be next year! I’m so excited! Also, I’m getting together for New Year’s with my old high school friends. Several of them moved to the same city, so keep in touch pretty well. We used to always do New Year’s together, but I don’t get up there much anymore. But this year we’ll be there! I can’t wait!!



    The school said I could pay half the deposit on the deadline, and half a month later, but no extensions. Still, I’ll take what I can get.

    I signed the “conditions of enrollment” and dropped it in the mail with a hefty check. I wish I could nail down how I feel about this.

    I have always lived on the beautiful West Coast. I love it here. I did a quick weather check after dropping my check in the mail and it is below zero in the Midwest (my likely destination). I really really really like the school. Why does it have to be in the middle of frozen nowhere?

    I was really looking forward to having something decided for sure, but I realized I don’t have anything entirely decided. I have two more interviews, and I might love those schools. I have not heard from the in-state school, which I still agreed to go to if I got in there, for my husband’s sake.

    I am so tired of waiting to know what I’m going to do next. I wish I just knew already! I guess I know that I’m going somewhere, and that’s worth something. I know that I’ll be in medical school by next fall, barring some weird calamity. I just don’t know where. I guess that’s okay.

    Otherwise, my schedule is all goofed up for next term. Sometimes I wonder if there is divine intervention and I power through it instead of listening.

    I need to take microbiology before I graduate. I was going to take the higher level course for two reasons: 1) I would get more out of it, and 2) then I could take immunology in the spring. I was sick on registration day, and when I registered a couple of days later the lab was full. I thought it was okay, because maybe someone would drop it. And if not, it’s offered in the spring and the lecture should be sufficient to get me into immuno. I didn’t realize until last night that the spring lab is at the same time as another class. I talked to the instructor, but she said she already overfilled the lab with people in my position who talked to her before me. My only hope is showing up this week in case someone else doesn’t, in which case I can have their spot. Very iffy. So maybe I won’t take immunology. I’ll just take the basic microbiology class and call it good. I don’t know. If it weren’t a direct result of my own mistakes I would have an easier time saying it was meant to be. I have a really hard time ever saying that, actually.

    A friend gave my husband his old xbox 360, because he got a new one. This is now the second night we’ve been up past midnight for no good reason while he plays. Yuck. I am not accustomed to sleeping alone, but I might be soon. I certainly can’t keep this up. :tired: I am a morning person. This is no good.


    I got a second acceptance in the mail, which is exciting, but it’s from the school I didn’t like. I think I’ll send them a “no, thank you” letter.

    I loved the school I interviewed at last week. This surprised me, because I thought there was only one school for me. I still prefer the frozen wasteland school, but the location on this one is much better, and I think we could still swing my husband’s schooling with this one. I actually think I will go here if I get in.

    I’m realizing how silly it was for me to put my school preference ahead of my husband’s opportunities. If I can get into a school that is close enough to home to allow him to pursue the graduate program that wants him, I should definitely do that. It’s not like I’m putting anything on hold – just going to my second-favorite place instead of favorite. Really not a big deal.

    Another interview next weekend, but I feel like there is little point to it. I already have two schools that I love (although one hasn’t accepted or rejected me yet), and the location is good, but not great.

    Well, I’m off for the shower. Just went for a run for the first time in a month. I’m exhausted, but feel good! 🙂


    What to say…

    It’s Friday night. Midterms are done, although I have a presentation on Monday on an article I haven’t read yet, so I’ll need to get on that. I also told my PI I’d do a draft of the intro and methods to a paper I’m supposed to be writing this week, which I didn’t do. This is to say that I’m relaxing now, hanging out online and making cookies, but it won’t last.

    I got into four medical schools. I’d love to be done with this process, but I still haven’t heard from my state school. I don’t even know whether or not they’ll interview me. My husband really wants me to go there if I get in, but I’d rather go to the aforementioned second choice school. We tried to have a celebratory dinner when I was accepted at that one, which we had talked about quite a bit. We were going to go there because I loved it, and he could probably do his graduate work there. Then he announced at dinner that I shouldn’t go to that school – that I should hold out for the state school, which he thinks is better. I got a little sad about that, because I wanted to start making a plan. He got mad because I got sad and didn’t want to talk about it anymore, so he announced that I was under too much stress, and he would pick my medical school for me. After all, it is where we’ll both have to move, so it involves him.

    So much anger…

    Sometimes I think of telling all the young people not to get married – that it’s just not worth it. Sometimes I’m happy, but often I just think I tied myself to a crazy man for a fickle emotion when I was happy enough alone.

    There are happier things going on. I’m really glad to be done with midterms, but I already mentioned that. It’s nice to know that I’m going to medical school. I’m still studying for exams, but walking out thinking I got a B on a test doesn’t concern me anymore. That’s a good feeling.

    I need to get my paper written, but I hate writing. I also need to finish collecting my data. That is taking way too long. When someone offered to help me and collect the histomorphometry data, I actually took him up on it. I really wanted to do this myself, but I’m behind and he has a lot of experience and is a lot faster at it than I am.

    My class schedule worked out, even better than I expected. I’m taking a lot of classes right now, but they’re things I wanted to take, and they pave the way for interesting classes next term. Everything is coming together quite nicely.


    Still not a ton going on here, but I’m excited that I almost know where I’m going to school. My husband has been less of a jerk lately. I think he’s a little insecure. Okay, a lot insecure.

    I am planning to withdraw my acceptance from my favorite school and send my deposit to my second favorite. That’s a weird feeling. I really really prefer my first choice school. I like the second choice, but I loved my first choice. Loved it. It felt like home to me.

    It’s not worth it, though. I’d be cutting my husband off from a great opportunity. I should be happy just to have one acceptance, let alone have choices to make.

    I just want to get on with it already. I can’t believe how long this application process took. It’s actually been a full year now. This time last year I was working on MCAT review. Yikes.

    I’ve been trying to run more. Today I skipped it because I was tired and decided that I needed sleep more than I needed to run. Well, here I am not sleeping. I should head to bed. I guess tomorrow is a day I could sleep in a little if I wanted, so I should take advantage.

    I’m also trying to be more organized, and a better housekeeper. I’m a lousy housekeeper. I’m like a huge clutterbug. Tonight I sat on the couch and took off my shoes, just to discover that I already had one pair of shoes and one pair of slippers sitting in front of the couch. My poor husband would be screaming inside if he were here. For all his faults, it’s nice that he only screams on the inside. 🙂

    Still want a baby. Actually, more than ever. The timing right now would be lousy, though. Cycles are as irregular as ever, so I’m finally going back to the doctor. No cycles since October now… that’s a little too long. I don’t know when I want to have children, but I have some good ideas for when I don’t.

    Okay, I’m sleepy. Goodnight everyone, and thanks for humoring me! 😉


    After stressing about school choices every day for the week leading up to deposit deadlines, I finally just sent deposit payments to both of my top two schools. I also got an invitation to interview at my in-state school, which is amazing. It’s actually a very good school, so if I got in there I would just drop the other two and deconflict some major issues in my life. That would be awesome.

    In other good news, I was at school late the other day, and when I got home my husband (who doesn’t study much so has free time during the day) had cleaned the house. It was incredible. I mean, not incredibly clean, but more than I’ve ever seen him do in one stretch before. He did the dishes, wiped down the counters, caught up the backlogged laundry, vacuumed the floor, and rearranged the livingroom, putting the bird in a spot where she is much happier. I was elated. I told him that if he could do this regularly, I wouldn’t be opposed to him staying home while I work. It’s just that he usually plays video games all day if he has a chance to stay home.

    I’ve been spending some quality time with the doctor, and have more tests scheduled for next week. Hormone levels are all normal, but I have had only two cycles since he last checked them – which was 9 months ago – so he’s going to check prolactin and do an ultrasound. This is not fun. Still, looking at the bright side, I am learning some interesting things about medicine and hormones.

    Finally, it’s a beautiful day today! I live in the Northwest, where winter is characterized by 7 months of clouds and rain. That said, it is so nice to see some blue sky. 🙂


    Evidently my ultrasound showed multiple cysts – the doctor (logically, perhaps) has decided I have PCOS.

    I’m pretty bothered by this. First, I don’t like to think of having something like this wrong with me. Pretty annoying. Second, I’m not obese. Maybe a touch overweight (about 15 pounds more than I’d like to be) – but not obese. I know not everyone with PCOS is obese, but it was my understanding that there was a pretty strong link there. Makes me feel unhealthy, I guess. Also, it worries me a little bit, because there appears to be some correlation between insulin resistance and PCOS. I have a strong family history of diabetes, so this is concerning – although correlations are not rules.

    Anyway, I feel gloomy now. I don’t know what to do. Yes, I could take medications, I suppose. I guess it is one thing to decide to leave the possibility of having children while in medical school open. It seems like a different matter to take medicine to induce such a thing. I mean, how would I explain that to my doctor and not seem irresponsible? Probably doesn’t help that my doctor is a man. I don’t think I would worry about that if I saw a female doctor. Back to different gender expectations, I suppose. I don’t expect him to understand that I’m going to have to juggle things no matter what – his wife likely stays home with their several children, after all.


    I sent a letter to one school declining admission. I am still waiting to hear back from my state school, and if they don’t take me I’ll be a Midwesterner next year!

    Every time I decline a school I regret it later. One school I turned down was in a place with family I love and amazing weather – but I hated the school and the dean. Another was in a town with very good friends, but it is a somewhat new program, and there weren’t opportunities for my husband nearby. Finally, the letter I sent last week… I don’t know. I had one good friend there, reasonable opportunities for my husband, but I like the Midwest school better. I could also stay in state if I am accepted here.

    In other news, my husband and I are fighting like crazy. He is always on my case. I am being nagged to death. Just constantly in trouble. Occasionally he’ll pipe up, realize he’s being grumpy, and apologize. Due to this, I usually just try to stay out of his way until he snaps out of it. Other times he just gets furious that I’m not paying attention to him, and don’t care that he’s mad. Says it’s “not okay” that I don’t care that he’s upset and don’t want to communicate with him. Sometimes I’m so very miserable here. I guess this is why you have to sign a contract when you get married… things will look up eventually and they have to make sure that we stick around for that. Either way, we have an appointment with a counselor. I’m not sure what to expect from that, and am a little apprehensive about it. In the end, I just hope it helps.

    Finally, school. I’m taking a lot of classes, and getting nervous about my upcoming graduation. Mostly about my thesis, which needs some serious revising. I wrote a draft, but that’s it. Ugh. I’m already nervous about the defense. I tried to drop an elective, just to lighten the load, but evidently I missed the drop deadline. Oh well. One final push, and then summer!!

    In good news, my husband agreed to go on a road trip this summer. I did that once when I was 19 and carefree, and it was a great experience. I’ve really wanted to go on a trip like that with him before we become more tied down. Summer will be so nice.

    I need to plan our 6th anniversary weekend. I asked him for input on it, and he didn’t have much. Gave me a cursory opinion and put on his headphones to play his cursed xbox. I swear, that thing is going to mysteriously break one day… 😉 No, not really.


    Good news! I got into the in-state med school. I can’t believe I spent all year flying around the country and interviewing and I’ll end up about 80 miles away.

    I think the Midwest school was my favorite, but it’ll be nice to be close to home. Also good because my husband can go to his graduate school.

    We’ve been going to counseling, which is good. We don’t hate each other – it just helps to have someone act as a mediator.

    Now I’m working on my thesis. All the research is done, the stats are done, most of the data has been put into nice tables and bar graphs, and so now I’m finishing tables and working on writing. I hate the writing. Every sentence is torture. I just don’t feel like I’m not enough of an expert on the subject to write something like this.

    That’s about it for now. I’m really just happy to know where I’ll be next year, and so glad to be out of limbo.


    Thesis defense was today! It went pretty well. I had my presentation very polished – perhaps I should have studied a bit for the oral exam. I limped through it, but I certainly didn’t come across as brilliant. Answering questions on the spot is as hard as they say it is.

    I graduate in two weeks, and then two months off and medical school. I can’t wait! So excited. 🙂

    That’s about it for now… just winding down, looking for housing in the new city (but don’t want to pay for it!). My car broke down, and I’m not sure I want to repair or replace it. Just don’t want to pay for it. I was hoping I could save my tax refund this year to help with my summer lounging, but somehow extra bills always pop up. Who knows what will happen. I really hate not having a car.


    I’m halfway through summer. Pretty sad about that. I want a longer summer. I have been working, entertaining out-of-town guests, apartment hunting, and now packing for the move. I guess my real vacation will start in a week when I am moved and in a different city from my job! 🙂

    I had grand plans of a month-long road trip, but my car died right before I graduated. What amazing timing. Between that and other bills, I’ve needed to keep my job a little longer. My mother-in-law came to visit, and she lives on a different continent, so I put everything on hold to entertain her. I am finally wrapping up my work and hoping I can get a little relaxing in before school starts.

    I’m apprehensive about starting medical school. I’m sure a lot of people are. I’m excited for the future, though.

    I’ll miss the people at the lab here. They’re doing a goodbye dinner for me tonight. I’m starting to get sad. 🙁

    My husband and I are getting along much, much better. That’s good news. It’s hard to balance the improved relationship that weathered tough times with the damaged relationship from the fighting.

    I know this is very fragmented. It’s just a random update. I want a vacation. Also, money to take a vacation. 🙂 That’s the trick, isn’t it?

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