when do I have a baby?!!!

Home Forums Ask the Physician when do I have a baby?!!!

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  • #95389
    rhlmdmph2brhlmdmph2b
    Participant

    Hi mommds!! My name is Raymona! I have wanted to go to medical school since I was in the 6th grade!! I am finishing my M.P.H. degree now and I am 24 years old! I just got married 5 months ago and would like to know when the best time for me to have a baby would be!? Do I have one a year before I go to school so that the child would be a little older, or wait until I’m a couple of years into school? I don’t want to wait until the end of med school, however, because I don’t want to have my first child at 32! I will not be able to start school until 2005 because I have to finish a few classes that I didn’t need for undergrad!! HELP!!!!!! feel free to email me at missfit00@hotmail.com if you would like!
    Sincerely, Raymona

    #95391
    rugratdocrugratdoc
    Participant

    I hear you. You will discover no time is a good time to have kids. :boggled: In the course of grueling training you must continue to live your life. The best time to have kids is…when both you and your spouse are ready to take on this new 😮 , difficult :rotfl: , bar none. My medical degree does not hold a flame up to my children. Best wishes, I pray that you will have no difficulty conceiving when the time is right.

    #95393
    DeniseDenise
    Participant

    Absolutely agree with rugratdoc. I had my kids during residency at 31yrs (beginning 2 yr), 33yrs,(early fellowship) and 36yrs (as an attending). There is NO best time…this applies to non-medical people too…there is no accounting for the baby’s personality either. The only answer is when you AND your spouse think you are ready :crossfingers:

    #95395
    LadyLuckLadyLuck
    Participant

    funny, I was going to ask the same thing! I am 21 and have been married for 3 1/2 years. We don’t have kids yet, but don’t know when to start. I will be done with undergrad in 2 1/2 years and don’t know if we should try to have one before I graduate from undergrad or not. Hope to figure that one out before it’s too late! :laughing:

    #95397
    mommidalamommidala
    Participant

    I had two children at age 36 and 38 while I was an attending. I agree that there is no good time, but when you are making money, you can use the money to buy help. If you are a poor medical student, you will have a difficult time affording adequate child care. Make sure that the father is going to help before you have the child, or you better have a ton of money to make up for any lack of his help!

    #95398
    fwmdfwmd
    Participant

    I totally agree with the above. In order to survive you MUST have a spouse who is involved and supportive. I had my first son 2nd year of resideny. It was a total nightmare and looking back wish that I had waited another two years. Learning from my mistakes, I took a year off after residency and had my second son. It was a totally different experience. I actually remember his first year of life.

    #95401
    TexasRoseTexasRose
    Participant

    I’ll jump in here and say that, having had 3 kids, I can’t imagine going through the grueling hours and demands of residency while pregnant or with an infant.

    If you are ready for kids before you start school or res, go ahead and have them. At least you won’t be dealing with the physical demands of a pregnancy when you hit those crazy years. Not that older kids aren’t demanding, it’s just different.

    Theresa

    #95403
    MelissaGrayMelissaGray
    Participant

    I’ve got to jump in with Theresa. I know many women do it, but I can’t imagine having my daughter during med school or residency. Babies and toddlers are physically & mentally grueling, and I cannot imagine having missed out on being home raising her.

    For me, it has worked well to do the mommy thing first & do med school once she was in school. The time I “gave up” by putting off my medical education was well worth it.

    #95406
    diana mdiana m
    Participant

    I agree with “there is no right time!” The ideal time is when you can afford it, when your spouse has the work flexibility to compensate for your own crazy hours, and when you are still fertile, but you do your best with what you’ve got! I am a pregnant first-year pathology resident with a 20-month old at home. Pathology is pretty benign, but even still, life can get nuts. You might want to have a baby first, and make sure that stay-at-home mothering is not your dream job, because once you get into medicine, what with the debt, it is hard to get out!

    Also, if you have a choice of where to go to medical school, pick a city with family in it. Ideally, future grandparents. They have been invaluable to us in this crazy child-rearing adventure. :yikes:

    #95408
    dominodomino
    Participant

    Hi. My name is Rebecca and I am currently finishing my 3rd year of med school. My husband and I are considering having a baby in the next year and I was hoping to get some advice regarding pregnancy and applying to residency. First of all, I’m not sure whether I want to take a year off before residency or if I want to have a baby and then start my intern year with a 4 month-old. Any thoughts? Also, what do you think the ramifications would be of interviewing pregnant versus interviewing after taking a full year of leave?

    #95410
    psychpsych
    Participant

    Wow. Unless you have a really easy internship in mind (??!!) I think it would be very hard to do internship with a 4 month old. It’s hard to do anyway, but your life is so unpredictable and so much call and then you’ll want to be home with baby but how will you stay awake when you’re postcall. I’m sure you could do it, but if you could wait til after internship I think you might find it a tiny bit easier.

    I totally agree with the comments about needing money. Unless you have grandparents immediately close by who will do all the child care, you are going to have to pay someone, and it’s really expensive. My daughter is 18 months old and her daycare in Baltimore is $250/week. On the other hand, my son was 1 when I started my residency and my husband was a fellow who made less than I did. We were ready and he had flexibility to be the primary parent, so we went ahead, but we went into debt for the first 2 years until he became an attending. We just weren’t willing to settle for bad daycare so we paid for good daycare but it had a BIG financial impact.

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