Who does the housework?!

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  • #84994
    Andrea JanAndrea Jan
    Participant

    :tired: There are dirty dishes in the sink, clean and dirty clothes on the floor, used baby bottles everywhere. It’s overwhelming and embarrassing. I go to extremes to avoid having guests over.

    My husband jokingly made the comment, “We really need to find a good housewife.” Honestly, I have to agree! But…I can’t help asking, why doesn’t HE sometimes take the initiative and help out with housework more? Why does the responsibility always seem to fall on me?

    Sometimes I wish I were male…and had just the ONE job. Then, I wouldn’t feel so guilty about the house being a mess!

    Just wondering if any of you MomMD members feel as overwhelmed and frustrated as I do. How do YOU get the housework done?! :rolleyes:

    -Andrea Jan

    #84995
    amykamyk
    Participant

    I pay people $120 every three weeks. They’re due here in an hour or so, and they do a great job. I made sure some of the cost is covered by our monthly WAM money (we pay ourselves this at the beginning of each month), so that there’s continuing motivation to do our own housework. I also had several volcanic scenes and wrote out a list of all the house/homework I do around here so that he could see what I was ranting about. Took him by surprise; he’d had no idea there was that much to do. Now he cleans up the kitchen every night before bed. Makes a large difference.

    amy

    #84997
    EM momEM mom
    Participant

    I agree with amyk on this one…I also pay someone to come in every 2 weeks. Previous to this my house was a disaster and I was trying to be surperwoman taking care of everything. My husband and I had many arguements about this one but the bottom line was that no one was lining up at my door to be MY stay at home wife so I had to start enlisting help. The best thing about my housecleaner isn’t even the cleaning (although that is absolutely fantastic!), it is the fact that her coming forces me to pick up my stuff every two weeks. The first time she came it was torture and took the better part of a Saturday, but now that she’s been coming for awhile, I’ve actually found places for the majority of the stuff and I’m putting things away a little more consistantly since I know that doing all the night before is painful. She truly is worth every penny!

    #84999
    LaramisaLaramisa
    Participant

    I also pay a housecleaner to come for 2-3 hours a week. I agree it forces me to pick up more consistently on a daily basis because the frantic picking up at the last minute before she comes is too stressful.
    Right after the baby was born I also paid for help with laundry and shopping. And I use online grocery shopping (they deliver)
    The flylady website has some good tips (and good laughs also (see http://www.flylady.com)

    #85000
    Andrea JanAndrea Jan
    Participant

    amyk, momsurg, and Laramisa: Thanks! I’m hearing a consensus that hired help is a MUST, and that it motivates you to pick up on a regular basis.

    I’m feeling that attempting to motivate the hubby is going to be time better spent searching for some REAL help.

    You know, I have an occasional babysitter who is 14 years old (VERY mature and responsible for her age). Maybe I will see if she might be interested in helping out once a week for a little cash….HHmmmmm…..

    #85002
    amykamyk
    Participant

    🙂 I think you’ll feel much happier. One thing — it’s a good idea to make sure your husband feels the economics of it. Otherwise you’ll likely have to be on his rear to pick up before the cleaning person comes (or be doing the picking up yourself)…and it’ll just be one more of those jobs that magically happens, you know, free gift from the universe. If he’s helping to pay for cleaning, he’s more likely to help pick up, rather than throw away money when the cleaning person ignores cluttered areas.

    amy

    #85004
    Andrea JanAndrea Jan
    Participant

    Hi all-

    I just checked out FlyLady.com….and it’s GREAT! (Thanks for the recommendation, Laramisa.) I want to become a “Fly Baby”! I think ALL female medical students, residents, and physicians should check out this web site. Especially if you find it impossible to keep your house clean!

    :rotfl:
    Andrea Jan

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