November 21, 2011 at 1:30 am #132908
[quote=SW to MD]I think working so many hours in social work (easily 60+ most weeks, usually over 70-80, while only getting paid for 40) at $11/hour reset my expectations on work/life balanace- not necessarily for the good.[/quote]
I think this brings up an important point in this discussion.
If your first 60+ hour gig was as a medical student or resident, you probably see working hours like these very differently from those of us who have had similar schedules, for one reason or another, for a good part of our adult lives.
I’d also venture a guess that when combined with SES before med school, you’ll see an even bigger difference in “intrepretation” and “feel”.November 21, 2011 at 3:22 am #132910southernmdParticipant
Path, that’s very assuming if you are inferring back to my comment (you may not be). This isn’t my first 60 + hour gig. In fact, I easily worked 80 hours a week with a prior job I had making less than 10 bucks an hour when it all worked out. I actually dated my husband through that job. I hated it. There comes a time when you just want to not be at work no matter what the job is whether it is medicine or something else. I’m career changer, definitely older than my fellow peers in third-year, and medical school is NOT my first intense “work” experience. I like to have time to spend with my family outside of work. I’m content at 60 hours a week. 80 is pushing it actually. There is DEFINITELY a difference between 60 and 80. I’ve felt both on different rotations and compared to past jobs I’ve worked, and I am totally cool with 60. Not ok with 80. At least every single week indefinitely.November 21, 2011 at 3:45 am #132912
[quote=southernmd]Path, that’s very assuming if you are inferring back to my comment (you may not be). This isn’t my first 60 + hour gig. [/quote]
Why Southern? Just why? :confused:
I was referring to SW to MD’s comment which is why I quoted it. If I had been specifically referring to yours, I’m sure you know my posting history well enough by now to know that I would have had NO reservations about quoting YOUR comment.
I’m a lot of things, but passive aggressive isn’t one of them. 😎
Now that I’ve reread your most recent comment, my previous comment doesn’t even apply to you and I’m kinda disappointed you read it that way. 🙁November 21, 2011 at 4:20 am #132913southernmdParticipant
Fair enough. Sorry to misread. I think it is good to note, though, that whether someone has or hasn’t had a real job before – no life balance and/or too many work hours for one’s preference are miserable.November 21, 2011 at 4:50 am #132915SW to MDParticipant
Ah….. I remembered something else. Weekly meal plan. (Since we are doing it now…lol)November 21, 2011 at 5:39 am #132917lyn2006Participant
We are still trying. Some months are better… Specifically the ones that my husband is not on inpatient, ha! I am hoping that when we both finish residency it will be easier to achieve balance. I think part time work for one or both of us will be a must because our lives as they are right now are not sustainable. There are mornings where I do wonder what I was thinking, going into medicine, and maybe I should just stay home… But I know I wouldn’t be happy. Do you guys have those days? I teared up dropping my son off at daycare the other morning! Ridiculous! Is it just pregnancy hormones? I hope so!November 21, 2011 at 10:00 am #132925clee03mParticipant
I woke up this morning, sat on a couch, and cried. May be it’s not just hormones but also exhaustion that goes with pregnancy?
What is frustrating is how my schedule seems unsustainable only to me. I know this is destructive, but I can’t help feeling like my husband and my MIL are enjoying their lives off my back. God I really need a freaking day off per week. I stop thinking this nonsense and feeling jealous at my MIL if I have one day off per week. As soon as I start to work 5 days, I go crazy.
I think I need to have a little chat with my administrator who makes our schedules. I happened to be on call or post call whenever there were extra people. I am kind of afraid to commit to working part time and would prefer to take a day off when the schedule comes out. Balance? Ha. I would settle for sane right now.November 21, 2011 at 9:46 pm #132934Emily2651Participant
I feel like everyone talks about “balance”, but we never define it. Maybe all balance means is that your obligations from one sphere of life don’t prevent you from fulfilling obligations from another sphere?
I also think it’s helpful to think in really concrete terms, like working four days a week, instead of five. Otherwise, “balance” takes on this sort of mythical/nebulous character. For me, right now, I feel like I can adequately care for my family and myself if I a) have most weekends off and b) am home for dinner most nights. In the future, I’d like to add one free weekday per week to the mix; I think that will be enormously helpful once my dudes start elementary school.
What’s interesting to me is that I give a lot of thought to how I can keep my work life from interfering excessively with my domestic life … but I don’t often turn it around and consider how to keep my domestic life from inappropriately interfering with my work life. I’m going to try to think in those terms more.November 22, 2011 at 2:20 am #132939
Hmm-I have work life balance. It took years to get here though. I work part time and have total control over my schedule. One full day off, three part time days and one full day. Call one in 4 weekends and 1-2 days during the week. But call is light. If I wanted it better I could take an urgent care job, no holidays and probably make more money but I like where I work. We have no famimly nearby and no live in childcare. I do the bulk of the driving for kids activities (with carpool). I have cleaning every other week. I do the rest of the cleaning (we have a dog) all of the laundry except DH’s, and all of the grocery and other shopping (XMas, birthdays, etc) plus all of our travel and party planning. And I am working out 5 days a week currently. It takes a lot of organization. I also have a babysitter on weds and friday to help me after work before DH gets home.
The key for us is DH has a super flexible job. He can’t work part time, but boy is his job flexible and he can work from home if it is snowy or someone is sick. Engineering is where it’s at, I tell you. He makes as much as I do and has beer every Friday and free snacks at work!! And they go bowling over lunch! I don’t even get a lunch except at my desk while I do charts most days!!
Part time really helped me to get a balance. I feel like I can work but I see my kids every day. And once they are all school aged, I think it will be even better since my work hours are mostly while they are in school except for Fridays. So that will be cool….I can use my day off while they are in school and the one day I get out at 12:30 to run errands and go to the gym, and will be able to be with them after school….November 22, 2011 at 2:22 am #132940
PS, plus, DH has a masters but came out of school at 24 with no debt and started making around 50K back then. By the time I met him he was 30 and already had an established 401K and owned a home. I had $160K in debt, a car that was falling apart, and no retirement savings!! He joked that I came with a reverse dowry!!November 22, 2011 at 3:34 am #132943
It might be worth mentioning that part-time for some Docs often means at least 40 hrs/week.November 22, 2011 at 3:46 am #132944clee03mParticipant
My part time (4 days plus call) is more like 55 hours a week.November 22, 2011 at 5:20 pm #132952
Hmm, I’d say I work about 30 hours to 32 on average including time I have to go in on weekends for admissions. So, still part time. That does not include commuting time though.January 11, 2012 at 9:23 am #133838mom*4mdParticipant
what to do when your physician husband says he doesn’t like being married to a physician?January 11, 2012 at 9:38 am #133839asunshineParticipant
Tell him you don’t like being married to a complainer!
But seriously, that stinks. At least he said it out loud, and now you have a starting point from which you can start talking about this. Good luck, mom4. We’ll listen!
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