October 19, 2003 at 1:31 am #79774drmoo55Participant
For working moms and I would think for working MomMDs depending on specialty or schedule that it would be difficult to get to your child’s activities.
Are there many daytime things that you miss out on? ie lunch at school with child; daytime field trips; other activities??October 19, 2003 at 5:35 am #79775EM momParticipant
This is a subject very near and dear to my heart right now! My daycare (which I generally love) has been having all of these little “programs”…at least one a month! Now, of course all of the parents are invited, and of course you really want to go…but if you COULD go to all of these little “programs”, your kid probably wouldn’t be IN daycare! I really think this just sets you up to disappoint your kid, which is the worst feeling in the entire world!October 19, 2003 at 2:35 pm #79777LaramisaParticipant
My daughter’s school and daycare always plan the activities that they invite parents to for evenings, which I appreciate, so I don’t have this problem.October 19, 2003 at 4:22 pm #79778EM momParticipant
I’ve suggested evenings-which would be perfect, one of the two of us could make it to every one! However the daycare management looks at me like I’m from another planet, after all they would have to pay their already hideously underpaid staff OVERTIME! Luckily right now my daughter is a little too young to comprehend but it will not be too long when she understands that we cannot come to these things!October 19, 2003 at 5:21 pm #79780Doc201XParticipant
Originally posted by momsurg:
I really think this just sets you up to disappoint your kid, which is the worst feeling in the entire world!
I guess I take a really hard edge when it comes to these issues because not only do I NOT feel guilty when I can’t make it to the majoirty of my daughter’s activites (relatively unimportant ones like field trips) but I don’t allow anyone else to make me feel guitly about it either. A few months ago, my daughter asked me why every one else’s mommy was going on the next field trip and I wasn’t. I explained to her that Mommy loves doing research that may one day save someone’s life so I can’t make it to all of her activities but it doesn’t mean I love her any less. I also brought her in to work later that day to let her look in the microscope at a few slides
to allow her to really get a feel for what I do and how much fun it is. What joy I felt when as I was picking her up from daycare one day, and I overheard her explaining to one of her friends that because I was studying to be a doctor(PhD) I couldn’t make that particular the trip. The other kid just said WOW!
You know it’s up to us to make sure our children but especially our daughters understand that there’s great personal and professional value in continuing your education. I believe my daughter is learning now that just becasue I’m not there for every event, it doesn’t mean I care or love her any less. Most importantly she understands that just because other kids parents’ are there all the time, it doesn’t mean their parents love or care for them any more.October 20, 2003 at 9:23 pm #79781sisriverParticipant
My older kids daycare was at my worksite which allowed me to participate in most things. Now that they are in Kindergarten and second grade, it’s harder for me to be involved but I still do it. I’d encourage (those who can and want to)you to find flexibility in your work schedule, challenge the system, in order to be there with your kids. I have in the last couple of years, and really regret that I didn’t push the system harder way back when. The men are leaving to play tennis and golf, go to dentist appointments, have extended lunch hour, etc and some of them take an extraordinary amount of ‘authorized absence’ – I think we women can get alot of work done in a lesser amount of time too and then not be missed too much when leaving for a child’s gathering. Of course, I also have to explain my work obligations to my kids when they compare my efforts to that of some of the other moms…October 24, 2003 at 6:14 am #79783LisaFPParticipant
My oldest daughter is 6 and this came up a lot with preschool and kindergarten programs. I trained her not to expect me at every one. I told her I would come if I could but I would not always be able to because I was taking care of sick people. I would always tell her in the morning, “I can’t come. Lots of other moms will be there, but I’ll be thinking about you.” Sometimes I asked another parent to take pictures with a disposable camera. Occasionally I would manage to get away and would show up unexpectedly and the smile on my daughter’s face was the best! I never really felt guilty about not making it to every thing.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.