July 20, 2011 at 9:26 pm #130126aale0818Participant
I’m new to MomMD and can I say that I was beyond relieved to finally come across this site. I have been scouring the internet forums, sites, message boards etc for a place that women in medicine can discuss things that life throws at them, parenting, etc.
A little about me for those of you that are reading:
I’m 27 (almost 28 in 3 weeks) and currently a MSIV. I am in the process of working on my app for a position in an internal medicine residency program. I have been married for 8 months, with my husband for over 5 years. We have two furry children (dogs) and love them to death. I am studying for Step 2 and if any of you have been here before, I’m sure you can relate to how the mind can wander and obsess over things during this study period!
As of late, I can’t get my mind off of starting a family. This is probably due to multiple factors… I am pushing 30 and my husband is 32. We are surrounded by baby-making couples and it is pretty intense. I absolutely adore kids and plan to have my own and at this point, I want them sooner rather than later. Literally, out of all of our couple friends, only one other couple is not pregnant (and they happen to be trying) or just had a baby (or two). So of course, every time we are together the grand inquisition begins:
“You guys are next! When are you going to start trying?!” and on and on it goes. If I were choosing a different career path or if this was a year ago, I would likely have a different answer (NOW!), but I’m not. I’m am absolutely terrified of getting pregnant now with all that is looming on the horizon. I am promised a fall filled with travel and interviews and next summer, a move and start of intern year. We have debt up to the wazoo between my school loans and my husbands undergrad loans. Relocation would mean him finding a new job and all of the uncertainty that goes along with it. Possibly relocating to a place where we know no one and have no family support. All of these things combined make me hesitant to start a family right now.
I know, I know, I know….THERE’S NEVER A PERFECT OR GOOD TIME TO START A FAMILY! Boy do I ever know this… I simply can’t stop my mind from being the realist that it is. But then again, 5 days ago when I found out one of our best friends is preggers with baby #2 (baby #1 just turned 1 a month ago), my heart kinda sank. I was so happy but it was bittersweet because I wished that it was me. I have lived vicariously through my 2 best friends for the last 2 years with their pregnancies and their babies. I guess I can keep it up for another year.
Whew! Feels good to vent a little (my apologies if it was too whiny) but my girlfriends don’t completely get it and knowing that there are a few readers out there that can relate is somewhat comforting…
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.