I’ve come to the conclusion that internal medicine residency is precisely 273 days too long. Yes, there is more to learn. At this point in training, however, the protective womb of attendings can start to become a bit suffocating.
Like the last month of pregnancy, the end of residency is perhaps meant to be painful in some ways – it does make a person really really want it to be over, therefore making the pain of transition a little less.
By now, many of my classmates have decided exactly what they will be doing 274 days from now. I’m still having a bit of an identity crisis, and every time I’m asked “what are you doing next year?” I have an adrenaline-induced arrhythmia. It happened 5 times today on wards.
You see, above almost all else, I am a planner. I like to know who, what, where, and when. My family and colleagues see this as an endless well of teasing and poking fun – “what are you doing July 3rd of 2014?! (hee hee)” “I can’t believe you know that you’re on overnight call on a friday 3 months from now!”. I don’t think it’s because I need to feel like I’m in control, I just have this ridiculous fear that if everything isn’t planned out that somehow an opportunity will be missed or that inefficiencies will creep unwelcome into our lives. By planning, tasks can be consolidated, trips can be made, days off can be squeezed of every last drop, and life can be lived.
This is not to say that I’m not a fan of spontaneity – I just like to have it planned (like the surprise I’m planning for Honey – shhhh). (and yes, I do realize how ridiculous this sounds).
So, where am I going to be July 2nd of 2012? Stay tuned. My response for the curious folks at work who want to know? My standard answer so far is “I have no idea. What do you think I should do?”. I’ve gotten some interesting suggestions 😉
Jonesie is a third year medicine resident, mom of 3 (14, 5, soon-to-be-3), and lucky wife to Honey. She is now accepting suggestions regarding what she should do with the rest of her life, and more importantly where she should do it – current big (ish) city, smaller town with acreage options, somewhere in between?!?